The Official Writing Challenge
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That was quite an ordeal just for a handful of coconuts. I liked your application at the end
Wow, that was quite an adventure! You held my attention all the way through, wondering if the coconut-picking spree would get you in trouble. Glad you made it back safely. Great story-telling.
I could hear the noise and feel the jungle heat. The application at the end was great.
The descriptions were fantastic. May I suggest you break up your paragraphs somewhat. If you're interested in seeing how that would look, send me a PM and I'll be glad to help.

I really liked the ending of this piece, too.
Heehee! What a fun adventure, seems like a lot of work just for a coconut, eh? Nice descriptions.
I really liked your story, even though I must have heard it at least four or five times!