The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/12/09
Great thought-provoking story. Perspective changes everything. A lesson for all of us to learn.
06/12/09
I like the way Jake's time off opened his eyes...I think that's often part of the reason we are forced to slow down at times. You also nailed the void between work associates and friends.
06/15/09
A solid piece of writing that gained pace as it progressed.

Thoroughly enjoyed the account of this real-life moment.

Well done.
You put me right in the apartment with your MC.

The descriptions are good,and the writing is solid.

You also wrote about an issue that is affecting so many families today, and you did it well. I enjoyed this read.
06/15/09
I could feel the pain of the MC, the frustration. I think this is happening quite a bit these days. It is hard to write about somethin you have no interest in.
Mona
You illustrated your title perfectly with your story. I especially like how the message was between the lines and how you fleshed out your character.
06/15/09
Loved the wit here. The line, "Since his termination, he started experimenting with every beer on the market to see which one might inspire him to write such things as: web content, computer manuals, hospital newsletters or articles about colon disease," made me laugh out loud. Great story with a nice finish...well done!
06/15/09
Great piece of writing. It also hit on the hard times so many folks are facing right now. The voice of your MC was strong, even in his moment of struggle and weakness. I liked his competive spirit there at the end. Good take on this week's theme.
Great take on the theme and your descriptive work put me right with your MC watching the large plasma television...but drinking a Dr. Pepper :) Nicely done!
Transitions can be so difficult, but your MC started to look at things from a different angle-what we all need to do instead of singing "poor me." I liked this very much.