The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/28/09
Excellent! Love the details (strawberries, etc.), the non-preachy friendliness and realistic dialogue, and the fact that you left the ending open, but with a very clear sense of the future direction of this woman's life. Even the title contributes to the story's craftmanship.
06/03/09
Evangelism in a garden - Great!
Like the reference to Alpha being English and it comming out of HTB.
Thanks. Colin
I liked the chat between these two and I hope that one day Laura does see the real reason and understand. This was good and I'm glad you didn't bury the message in a happy-go-lucky cookie cutter ending. Nice job.
06/03/09
I agree, I couldn't live without chocolate, sunshine or Jesus! Well done! If this is the same Alpha program (where you invite your "unchurched" friends or to someone's house for dinner and videos) we've used this program in years past. Great concept! I like how the problem wasn't necessarily "fixed" by the end of the story and yet it gave a lot of hope for this friend.
06/03/09
A very realistic story of witnessing - a bit of seed planting to be watered by another. I was a little confused in the first paragraph - having the neighbor's dialog in the middle of the MC's action. The ending is wonderful.
This is a fine piece about witnessing-I need to read more of these to get the feel of it. (I rate my witnessing at -7!) Very nice writing.