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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Before and After (05/14/09)
Shards of glass littered the floor. I stepped gingerly around them to avoid having my soul torn to shreds.

A lot of people wear rose-colored glasses before they marry. When I married on June 23, 1984, I didn’t think I had a pair of those glasses. I was twenty-three and I knew everything there was to know about the man I was marrying, and I knew everything about marriage. Maturity happens at twenty-three, everyone knows that.

Twenty-five years later, I have to admit that I did have on a pair of rose-colored glasses.

Several months after the delightful wedding ceremony and glorious honeymoon, the glasses were trampled beneath the feet of angry words, slammed doors, and threats of suicide. Yes, suicide. To get my way. To say, “Hey listen to me. Don’t you hear me? I want to be heard, please. I want to be loved.”

My husband had the same pair of glasses. His were trodden down by intimidation, disillusionment, and, like me, threats of suicide. Insecurity. To say, “Hey I’m here. Remember me, the man you married? The man you know so well? I want to be heard. I want to be respected.”

I wish we could have taken our rose-colored glasses off before the wedding, before the hardships that came our way. But had we removed them ourselves, would we have wanted to marry? Would we have seen too much and therefore, not been willing to enter into what God had for us? I don’t know.

What I do know is that I’m glad they were removed forcefully after marriage, to bring growth and to open our eyes to what it means to really love and respect each other.

I remember one night in particular when we’d been married about two or three years and had our little girl already. Laying on the floor by our Christmas tree, my beloved husband and I faced each other, saying terrible things to one another as we fought over who knows what…

Evil laughter filled the room.

“Did you hear that?” I asked my husband.

“No.”

“Satan laughed at us. We need to pray right now.”

We wrapped our arms around each other and began praying; seeking God for forgiveness for our actions and attitudes and asking Him to bless our marriage.

That night was a turning point for us. We realized how much we needed God in our marriage if we were to make it. Did we instantly have a perfect marriage? No, of course not. We still don’t. No marriage is ever perfect, but with God at the center we can make it the best it can be.

Twenty-five years later, we’re no longer wearing the rose-colored glasses. We didn’t want to repair them and slip back into any kind of fantasy. We chose to get to know each other as we were and understand as it says in Scripture that iron sharpens iron and in that, growth takes place as we allow God to be at the center of our marriage.


Scripture reference: Proverbs 27:17
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Joy Faire Stewart
05/26/09
A very realistic look at a relationship. I especially like the opening paragraph and understood it more after reading the story.
Patricia Herchenroether
05/27/09
A really nice story, right on topic and very real. Well-written.
Mona Purvis
05/27/09
Pamela, when I read this story I sense something else going on. I think it is the natural desire for healing. There are so many questions lingering between the lines. Could be mood, could be disappointment or even anger.
Your story tells raw truth.
Mona
Christine Dunn
05/27/09
This was a very honest account. I'm so glad it had a happy ending. Thank you for sharing this piece. It is so important to pray together!
Pamela Kliewer 
05/27/09
I don't usually post comments on my own stories, but I had to say that my husband and I have a very happy marriage. We have gone through 'stuff' (including his health issues) but God is so gracious and He has brought us through it all. We are very excited to be celebrating our 25th anniversary next month. :-)
Janice Fitzpatrick
05/27/09
Congratulations on taking your topic and refocusing our view. We each need to not look through rose colored glasses, but through the eyes of Christ himself,praise God!:0) Also Congrats on your 25th anniversary!:)) Janice
Mona Purvis
05/27/09
My earlier comments are about the brilliant writing of a piece that deals with a tough subject. When I read it I felt the emotions of the writer, something that is a mark of a good writer. In no way are my comments about the situation which I took as fiction.
Mona
Pamela Kliewer 
05/27/09
Thank you Mona...

I thought you had read my story because of my having tossed a brick and you saw it in the forums... and so knew it was a true story...

Thank you very much for your kind words.

Pamela
Bryan Ridenour
05/27/09
Great writing and powerful truth presented. Marriages aren't easy, but a cord of three strands cannot be easily broken. Thanks for reminding us all that we need to hold on to God and each other.
Verna Cole Mitchell 
05/27/09
It's not easy to paint a picture of your heart, but you did an excellent job here.
Loren T. Lowery
05/27/09
What a bold statement, wonderfully and courageously spoken. If only more people could write like this - holding a person's attention to hear truth. I really loved your title, too. It says so much about what was to follow in the story. The old adage is true, isn't' it. "Know the truth and the truth will set you free." God's continued blessings on your marriage!
Lyn Churchyard
05/27/09
Marriage isn't easy, and rose-coloured glasses don't help. It is so important to we remember that we need God at the centre of our marriage - the axis - to keep us together. We need God above all to keep evil laughter from filling the room.