The Official Writing Challenge
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My heart went out to these poor, sweet children!

The brother's longest speech didn't sound like something a child would actually say--it was more like reading a report at that point.

But the rest of it was lovely, if sad.
Interesting game. I was confused in the middle and had to re-read it. It suddenly sounded like an author's note instead of part of the conversation. Good reminder of why India needs the Gospel.
This is a creative story.

I thought the dialogue of the children seemed unnatural.

This piece has a good message.