The Official Writing Challenge
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Rough on the edges, intentional or not, is a little distracting. Forumula story, amply written. Thanks for posting
I probably would have hit him with his artifical leg! Loved the lesson.
A well set up and pacy story. Some great images I can relate to: sand in the bathers after a dumping! I remember that. I like the way a benevolent sun becomes: 'violent, burning and stark' when your character's perception changes and the child's fear opening out our fear for others. Devotional points aren't forced. Gotta love that last line! ROFL.
Try to figure out why this came up with so many bizzare typos!
To read this piece without all the extras, go to 'View', then 'Encoding' then probably 'More' then 'Chinese simplified GB18030'. Now, how would I know that......?
Oh - and put it back after you're done, or you're likely to have your next entry look like this one ... it looks fine on the preview but to anybody without Chinese text encoding switched on, uh, yes, well, it is pretty obvious. Grrrrr......
Interesting piece! I loved the last line. Good job!
I liked the contrast between the carefree beginning and the beach after the scare!
Charming, light and imaginitive. God bless, littlelight
Found ya! Hey, I really liked this! I got "pulled" in and enjoyed this whole piece, and I loved the subtle correlations. Can relate too on ALL levels! :)
"An ice cold vise wrapped around my heart." Wow. I can feel it. She's frozen by fear. Very nice work; I like your closure.
He he. Still chucking at the image of you girls scrambling in terror. Nice analogy between your situation & our real-life tragedies & attacks.
Nicely done!
Blessings, Lynda
nice funny story! well written.
Wow, well done Suzanne! If I hadn't been given some pretty obvious hints I mightn't have realised it was yours, it was a brave departure in some ways from your usual style; effective use of choppier sentences. (And by the time I read it there weren't any bizarre typos!) I'm looking forward to the challenge of guessing your piece each week, it will be harder than I would have thought!