The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 817 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
06/06/08
Even though I didn't know the family that lived in this house, tears came to my eyes as they walked away and the bulldozer arrived. Very well written, and made one feel as if they knew the people there, and could picture it as it once was. Nicely done! I grinned at the mention of Jeremiah the bullfrog...my own memories of "The Three Dog Nights" song...Joy to the World. Kudos!
06/06/08
Good way to show the memories of a family home.
06/06/08
I totally enjoyed my nostalgic walk and seeing this home place. I loved the bedroom/pantry "discussion". :) I've seen this (old houses torn down) so many times, especially in the country. Excellent and creative work on this heart-warming and heart-tugging piece.
Oh, the ending made me sad. You painted some lovely memories. Nicely done.
Oh, not the bulldozer....

You misted me up with the ening,well done!
06/08/08
Wonderful descriptions, and you did a particularly well with the characterization of the siblings. Nicely done!
Very good, clear and easy-to-follow writing. This flows nicely and paints a lovely, tender and sad picture. Great job.
A lovely nostalgic piece. The dialogue flowed beautifully as you took me on a small journey through the house. I was hoping they would keep it and when the bulldozer moved in I had a lump in my throat.
06/09/08
Aww, so many sad endings to old family homesteads. Many descriptive sentences in your story gave me vivid images of the walk about the children were having. Very tender and touching.
Very moving and beautiful. The ending was inevitable but so sad. One thing the bulldozer could never do though is take away your memories. Thanks for sharing.
Norms
This brought tears to my eyes. It was like watching an old friend die. You did a great job writing this piece.
The dialogue between the siblings in this piece was very good. I could picture them walking along, surveying the home and teasing each other. An enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing.
06/11/08
A walk down memory land certainly has a lot of power. I was recalling the same feeling about my own childhood home, which also became food for a bulldoser.

Beautifully written story.
This beautifully written piece left footprints on my heart. Your memories tied together with the sibling characters were just right.
I really enjoyed this and was sad it was being destroyed.
06/11/08
Well done. I enjoyed the bantering among the siblings and your descriptions/character recollections brought me to the family home...just before the bulldozer.
06/11/08
What a wonderful walk down memory lane. Sometimes when there are so many characters in a story it can become confusing. You did an excellent job of identifying the siblings. It was easy to follow their different personalities. The dialogue was well done. This whole piece flowed smoothly all the way through to the sad ending.
06/18/08
Oh! This one nearly made me cry! How sad! And yet, the memories were happy...hence the term you used, "bittersweet." I don't think they should bulldoze it...fix it up again!
06/18/08
Oh...and Jeremiah was a turtle in this story, comment #1. :) I thought of the same thing, though and thought it would have been funny to make him a bullfrog! :)