The Official Writing Challenge
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ROFL! This is simply hilarious! I love the dry humor and particularly your crazy title.

My favorite line was "Correction. Not mad king. Smart king. But were left with his clever edict, arent we?"

Smart king indeed! Cleverly written and well-delivered. I applaud your creativity! ^_^
Hilarious, enjoyable read!
Lovvvved the puking monkey and the sea shanties. This shines with wit and creativity.

Love the sarcasm, and can identify with so many of your points.

I'd like to see a ribbon on this entry!
What a marvellous hotchpotch of ranting and mad reasoning.
Personally I felt that your pice could have done with being a paragraph or two shorter as by the end I was finding Morty and Mongo a bit tedious slight case of overkill perhaps.
And in terms of the Buible of course theres the whole area of levirate marriage (resulting in the scenario put to Jesus about the widow who married seven brothers.) Interestingly its also a practice to protect the extended family that is still implemented here in Mozambique where we are currently serving. There are a few monkeys around too but no parrots.
Really funny story and well written. However, someday when you're an in-law, your outlook will change. Mine did!
I love well-done humor, and you nailed it with this. What fun! And it is so outrageous, we couldn't possibly take you seriously...could we? Having met you at last summer's conference, I can even hear you delivering this, and that makes it even better. Hope to see this place. It's excellent!
This one begs to be read aloud as a monologue. You can definitely feel your flair for drama here. Love it--you're so witty!
Oh yes, monologue for SURE! If you'd make a YouTube of it, I'd put it on my Facebook. ;)

Incredible wit and brilliant writing! Well done.
Please! Rule us with an iron fist, but dont let aunt in-law Edna suddenly drop in on our quiet Christmas morning with her off-key accordion and puking pet monkey with an infected ear and Mongo the Parrot who only knows dirty limericks and bawdy sea shanties!"

LOL! Oh man! You had me rolling with this one. So funny, and you had me convinced on several points you made. Your title is awesome too!

One of the funniest I have read this week. Thank you for sharing.
Congratulations, D_I, on placing 15th in your level and 40th overall. Great job!
Oh my. I found the level of sarcasm a bit painful at first, but the descriptions were so hilarious that I decided the sarcasm had to be tongue-in-cheek. I loved the insanity, the vivid images and sounds (HONK), and the unexpected "charity for disowned in-laws" angle. And when Mongo turned into dinner, that was the perfect touch. Quite an entry.
Ok, the thing about the puking mokney . . .hystarical! Oh my gosh, I was laughing so hard my eyes watered. I COL (cackled out loud.)
I soooooooo have relatives like this. Oh, lord! Have you met my family or something? Ok, mine aren't this bad (yet), but you never know. . . someone might get married and I'll inherit Mongo the Parrot and his lurid limericks!
Oh, and about Morty from Jersey calling . . .HANG UP QUICK! LOL.
Great work! I want more! :)
Oh, I forgot, that bit about "pennies" a day helping Edna in the accordian house was genius!
Guess how I found out about this article? Someone with the initials "L" and "F" who gave you some comments, recommended it to me after she found I love random humor.

Ha ha ha! What can I say that everyone else hasn't? The wit and insults bring the topic to a new level of funny though often painfully true. My favorite parts were the Heinous Act, the mad smart king's terrible edict, trying to repeal the Heinous Act, the infinite addition of new in-laws, and "Can she be removed any further?" XD

I suggest that instead of reusing Morty and Edna you could add a new character with his or her own eccentric charm. Great work! I'll have to read more of your stuff.
I see the opportunity for some hilarious costumes,especially with a partial accordian and slightly aging parrot. Not too sure about the puking monkey going over, though.