The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1176 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I wasn't expecting such an ending, even after reading the title! The dialogue was very good.
Your dialogue is excellent. I wasn't expecting the ending. Well told story.
08/09/07
Wow! But come to think of it...this isn't unbelievable in our world of today. Sad, very sad; but where is the anger?
This is such a sad story showing the devestation of a family from anger. Though the ending isn't happy, it's realistic.
08/10/07
Though anger isn't obvious in the story, I'M ANGRY. This kind of situation is all too common. You know, as I was reading, my head was saying "book, book, book." I think you've got a great basis for that here. Great dialogue and characters.
08/10/07
Well-done portrayal of an all-too-common situation... definately more material here that could be used to reach out to hurting women dealing with angry, abusive men.
So much pain. I wanted to cry. You pulled me in with a believable dialogue and kept my attention through the very sad ending.
This is well written and very sad. You did a good job showing what happens when anger is out of control.
08/13/07
The anger was felt in Tyra. You could almost feel her anger, her frustration, wanting to beat her head against the wall. She was angry at the victims, the husband, the system, even herself, and now it was too late. You have to wonder how many times this scene is replayed all over America. The dialog in this piece is exceptional!
08/14/07
Wow, what a kicker!

I just love your ability to create believable characters that we care for, mostly through masterful dialogue.
Okay, now I'm angry! I wish it hadn't ended that way, but many times it does, of course. Great detail and character development.
08/14/07
The details and dialog made this feel so real. This was heartbreaking.
08/14/07
Oh, my! I was hoping she'd sign, tho I didn't expect it, but the ending was like a punch in the gut. Good job.
08/15/07
Your mastery for weaving a story shines through this heartwrenching story. The ending was not a surprise ... just all too often reality in these situations.
This is sad, sad and true. You've touched on something that needs to be told and retold. People need to get angry about these situations.
Your characters are believable. Well done.
This was full of anger! Subtle anger from the son standing against a wall,vivid anger from Tyra, anger from the shelter lady and massive anger from the husband even though he didn't enter the dialogue. The ending was real. Over all, a great job!
Wow, this was awesome from the first sentence to the tramatic conclusion. Bravo!
A great story not talking about anger, but showing it and the results of it. Sad story, realistic, and much more common than most of us know. Excellent writing.
This story jumps from the daily headlines. And, always, in retrospect, people will admit that saw it coming, but didn't know what to do...or no one seemed to care. Still, so much needs to done in this arena. Great story and its telling as well.
08/15/07
Your entry has the edge of reality to it. It's a gripping story about the lousy way Satan just keeps whacking away, using human hands, at the family in America. I bet the lawyers and the system are filled with anger, everyday, at the futile attempts society makes to stop this.
Oh My! What a sad ending! All too true I'm afraid. This is well written.
08/15/07
I felt that ending coming and I was soooo frustrated with the inability to do anything. I love your writing, Dub, and I learn alot from just reading it. Thanks!! I could feel the attorney's frustration and anger--good job. :-) Hugs!!
08/15/07
Way too true to life, sadly. Excellent dialogue, well done, with a tragic ending. I felt the words you wrote.
08/15/07
The entire article was so real. All the characters were portrayed correctly. Such a sad, but to often, true story. Great writing Dub.
08/15/07
Great presentation of anger and certainly frustration that our system is tied in as many ways as it is to prevent things like this. Excellent work, as always.
08/19/07
A very revelant story but am I the only one who didn't get Leslie pulling up Billy Eller's shirt and showing the outline of a belt buckle or belt, what was that about? Also, the word "disbursed" I think you meant dispersed. Just a thought.