The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 477 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I like the beginning of this one, especially how you showed that someone caught up in personal problems can't really enjoy God's creation when they are focused on themselves.
Personally, though, I would prefer seeing the ending show how God can change a life, rather than ending with a prayer.
Keep up the good work!
07/13/07
Good title!

You could improve the readability of this by dividing your long paragraphs into shorter, more digestable chunks.

Quite tender, and a realistic depiction of emotions.
07/14/07
This definitely rang true. I would have liked an easier transition between the two women - had to go back and figure out who was talking. Otherwise, very nice.
07/15/07
You have great description here, and I like the narration. It would help if you divided up your paragraphs. Also, the prayer was good but I'd like to know more about what happnes to Ann. Good writing, though. Thanks.
07/17/07
Good article, and rings true of many. I like the way you used 'fish' throughout. Shorter paragraphs and perhaps some dialogue (even to herself) would have helped. Overall nice.