The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is precious. The description is good, and I love the little prayers, too. They are simple so a child can understand them, but so sincere.
Very well done.
A very good message. I'd love to see the illustrations to go with this one!
I loved ther names! This is a great story for children and it teaches them a valuable lesson in how to deal with trials.My favorite line was when Maggies "tilted" Flitter's head. Very visual!
This is delightful! I, too, would love to see it illustrated. I can almost see it now. Children would love it. Wonderful message, too. Nice work.
I like this nice little imaginative story with such vivid descriptions.
This BEGS to be a book with illustrations! It would add to the beauty of the story.

I would have loved to have read this to my daughter when she was a little girl.

Ditto. Beautiful and delicate. I was riveted from the opening paragraph. Good use of white space too serves to keep the flow of the story airy and light just like the butterfly.
Yes, it calls out be illustrated, but as an adult, I could already see the illustrations in my head. Gentle use of glitter and pastels, I think!
Veyr evocative writing.
I agree! This needs to be published!
I was particularly charmed by the friendship between two very unlikely critters. Lovely.
What a perfect story for a unit on the rain forest or for reading to a child grumpy about a gray, perhaps rainy, day. Liked the small poetic prayers interspersed throughout this story. Great story!
I liked this VERY much... and the message is wonderful... the need for friends to help us rise above the circumstances in our lives. The illustrations could be delightful...lots of potential here.
Sweet story! The rhyming prayers really make this piece, and I can definitely relate to Flitter. The weather affects me that way sometimes, too!
I really like this! I love the rhyming prayer poems throughout the story. It's so sweet and well written. I think my girls wouth love this story.
Such a sweet, gentle story of friendship, gratitude, and looking for the best in everything and in every day! Your descriptions were lovely, the poem/prayers wonderful, and the ending so positive! Terrific job! :)
I didn't like the trite opening "there once was..." but, the balance of the article is wonderfully composed, and definately publishable.
I like the prayers, too. Sweet story that I think children would really enjoy!
I love it! It would be an AWESOME children's book! I definitely can see all the illustrations perfectly in my head. A winner, in my honest opinion. ^_^
Aww...such a cute story! I think most children would really enjoy it. And I KNOW that *I* enjoyed it. ;)
I liked it. It reminded me of some stories I read in elementary school that had some really great illustrations. But, for the life of me, I can't remember who wrote them or what the titles were. Hmph... guess I'll have to go figure it out. :D
Loved the message and the dialogue between the characters. Your writing also made me empathize with the butterfly. Your story's a keeper in my book!
Wonderful story for children to read. Loved the poetry imbeded in the story.
What a delightfully engaging story! I would have liked to read this to my girl when she was little too. Excellent job!
This was fantastic. So simple and honest in its presentation that yes, a child (and an adult, for me I use that term loosely) can understand and enjoy. Your descriptions were great, the story flowed well and the message behind it all is priceless. Great job!
I read this to my big, boofie trucking friend, and he was so impressed, he wanted me to read it to his footie team to inspire them just before the match.
;) Just joking!
Wishing I had grandkids so I could read it to them. It's a gem!
This story was just lovely. I loved it.
This was cute! I liked the repeating prayer throughout, it made Flitter a little more realistic. As a girl butterfly though...the name wasn't too 'girly'. lol. My only note is though it is written for children, maybe cut out a few of the 'and' when reading aloud, it will wear on you. ^_^ Otherwise, good job!
Woot! LOL Way ta go, congrats!
Wowee! Congratulations! I'm so glad Flitter "lit" on the judges!
Well done, Joanne. We made it into the EC! Yeah!
Very nicely written. I think young children would enjoy this alot. Congrats on your placing in the top. Keep up the writing!God bless,Janice
Congrats Joanne! Great writing!
Congratulations. This could have some really beautiful illustrations.
CONGRATULATIONS on your EC and your win in Advanced!! This was a wonderful story, and it deserves the accolades!!!!!! LD
Well done, Joanne. I could see this printed and read to a child. It has a very important message put into simple terms. Your description was incredible. That has always been one of your strenghts. I really admire someone who has that talent. Welcome to Master's. I knew you were coming. I just wasn't sure which week, so I took the liberty of making up a bed for you because I want you to be comfortable here!
Very nice! Congrats on your win -- & on moving up to Masters!
I forgot to come leave you a comment! But you know how much I loved this story. So simple and beautiful and a perfect cadence to be read aloud to a child. Congrats!!!!!!
It's beautiful and you know it lovely girl
Great story, and congratulations! SisJ
This entry was as intricate as the butterfly you described, yet worded so simply that a child could easily understand. I think children should have more stories like this available to them to remind them of God's love. No child can be reminded too often of the truths found in your refrain. "Heavenly Father, I thank you today
for blessing me in this special way.
Thanks for the beauty of all I see,
And thank you, Lord, for loving me."
What a cute story and a wonderful lesson to be learned! I hope Flitter finds a home soon!