The Official Writing Challenge
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I love how the title is a play on words and ties in so completely with the story. :-)
oooo, I like this... I knew something was wrong with the rocks and you didn't disappoint. I loved the play on words in the title, but I think I must be missing something in the ending, because it didn't seem like it really had an ending... Otherwise great job!
Well, I didn't have a clue! (so cool!) Good stuff ... the kind that should continue - I'd LOVE to know what happens next. I guess that must mean you did a great job of writing! Kudos on this piece!
I love this, title and all. What an intriguing read, I want more for sure!
Great action. I also felt like the ending wasn't satisfying (I want more details!!) but that's just because I was so engaged. I love the way your characterization shone so much in this - it's easy to "depend" on the technology to carry the story, but you definitely didn't do that!
What an intriguing story! I wanted more. Liked how the characters were still human in this out of this world scene. I think you need to continue on so we can all find out what happens next. Excellent writing, held my interest, great characters, suspenseful and even a slight hint of romance. Well done.
Very good science fiction. When is the book coming out?
Great title, love the easy-going feel of this...too much sci-fi is just techno-babble. This is just right.

Watch your modifier in the first sentence--it sounds as if his head was startled awake, not him.

Even though this reads like a chapter of a larger work to come, that worked for me, because the writing was so engaging, and you fully established your characters. Nicely done.
Interesting premise; this sounds like it will be part of a future book.

My only suggestion is to watch out that you don't repeat words in sentences. Like the word 'head' here: "Startled awake, Keiths head echoed the sound off the bunk just above his head."

You left us with a hint that Keith has a little interest in the nurse (possible future romance?) and a big mystery about a cloaked mine field in a well-traveled area. Yes, more please.
This sci-fi is crying out to be expanded. Fantastic writing.
Good play on words with the title. I liked the realistic dialouge and feel of the story. It needs to be expanded though! I so want to know what happens afterward!
I like this, from the title through the end. Very good job.
Ouch! I almsot felt the head wound. Great description. I didn't quite get why the rocks were cloaked, but then, I don't usually get sci fi anyway. This held my attention all the way trhough. Nicely done.
This was like an old scifi serial. The story has been going on and will continue. Some question is always answered. Another question is always proposed.
What a creative idea! I would never have thought of mining in space. The characterization was excellent. Like everyone else, I want to know more.
Great writing, as always Shari. This is a gem! I loved it.
You give good sci fi :) - this has to be the start of something greater.
This was well written, very descriptive, I could see the whole scene unfold in my head. Let me know when you get the novel done:)
I don't know what to say that hasn't been, but to tell you that I really enjoyed reading it and was impressed with the skill. God bless.
Got me hooked. I'd like to know who the mine-layers were and why they did it. I guess I'll find out when the best-seller comes out. Well done.
Quite enjoyable read. :)