The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Wow - this was beautiful! I loved the voice throughout and the intricate way you wrote your descriptions - especially the perfect ending. Just lovely!
Okay, help me out here. I'm lost. Is this woman's hair changing color? Is this the color of the hair of the models showing him the rings? And, at the end, why is her entire family leaning on the sofa, expectantly? Wouldn't she ask them to give her some space? Apparently, I'm the only one who doesn't get this picture. Maybe it's too late and I'm too tired.... In any case, you give dynamite details!
First I'll address Evelyn and Marilee's comments; I agree with Evelyn the end was a disappointment; and I agree with Marilee about the confusing hair color and family being intently interested in this very private matter; however, it was "different", it was Creative, and although I was a bit confused throughout the read,it's very "interesting" to say the least. Lots of thought went into this - I can tell; nicely written.
Sweet love story. I was fooled at first. Good job.