Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Shopping (03/01/07)
- TITLE: Famous Last Words
By Marilyn Schnepp
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Thirty years ago BEFORE Chuck and I said our "I Do's" - I still remember his "famous last words" as a single man regarding marriage: "Show me a gal that cooks like a pro, looks like a doll, and hates shopping - and I'll marry her in a New York Minute."
Naturally, I had a few "famous last words" of my own: "Yes, World, show me a real he-man that doesn't live and breathe sports 24/7 and I'll show you Mister Right!"
Well, here we are, thirty years later...
I'm sitting here at the dining room table hunched over a Sears & Roebuck catalog, when Chuck, with a heavy golf bag slung over his left shoulder, comes into the dining room, gives me a kiss on the cheek as he glances down at the numerous array of Pennys, Wards and Midnight Velvet catalogs encircling my table space, and asks ever so sweetly, "Whatcha doing, Luv, browsing?"
"Yeah, Sweetie, just looking at the pictures, that's all" - as I give him my best coquettish grin.
"Well, browse away, Luv, and enjoy. Hey, aren't you the same lady that told me just last week that you were only browsing these catalogs for a new hairstyle? And the week before that, didn't you tell me that you were just cutting out paper dolls for the orphans down at St.Pauls? That was what you said, right?"
"Right, Sweets! You sure have a terrific memory. By the way, why are you lugging that big, heavy bag of mix-matched silver tipped canes around? What about your back?"
"Oh that? Well Jack and I thought we'd do some exercising this afternoon; You know, for our health? We're meeting over yonder," and he points awkwardly towards the west, moreorless haphazardly in the direction of the Cloverleaf Country Club, "and we're gonna do some walking in that nice, green, grassy clearing the Coverleaf people carved out of the forest area a few years back, remember?"
"Great! Perhaps you can collect a little Vitamin "D" from the sun rays as you stroll from gopher hole to gopher hole picking up little pock faced balls; or are they chipmunk holes, I forget?"
By now we're both cracking up with laughter. And I continue to giggle as he blows me a kiss with a final chuckle and closes the door.
Two minutes later I blissfully and happily type eBay. into the computer.
First of all, I've got to admit Chuck was short-changed when it came to my culinary skills; they were basically nil and haven't improved that much over the years. But at the time we met, it WAS true that I didn't like to go shopping. In fact, just the very mention of the "S" word, I'd get a panic attack or break out in hives.
I had been given a five day suspension from the Department of Corrections for losing an inmate on a Shopping Trip to the Mall. I had driven off and left her stranded at the mall due to a Head Count Malfunction. Mine. I never was good at arithmetic.
Anyway, every cloud has a silver lining. For during that five-day suspension Chuck and I met. He listened to my sad tale of woe with a gleam in his eye, and I watched as the gleam turned to a sparkle, then to stars as I expressed my disdain, aversion and contempt for anything connected with the "S" word.
I think that's when Chuck's knew his New York Minute was up.
Isn't it wonderful how God works things out? "For we know that all things work together for good to them that love God..(Rom 8:28) KJV "
Besides..."famous last words" don't mean a hill of beans when they're up against LOVE...with a sense of humor.
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