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Topic: Volunteer (11/23/06)
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TITLE: When Heaven Held Its Breath | Previous Challenge Entry
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11/29/06 -
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“Let there be...”
Light instantly swirled in unending hues, pulsing with rhythmic vibrance. Clouds of dust and gases were sucked into a whirling mass, blending together with prismatic beauty. From the breath of authority, a sphere spun away from the created matter, separating into light and darkness. A fiery ball of intense energy appeared in the center of the mass. A lessor light formed next, and spun around the sphere. Then, with calculated precision and grace, the atmosphere took on a new dimension. Millions of lights burst forth in radiant harmony, filling up the space designed for them.
A song soared on wings of adoration and praise, breaking through the silence. With it, came the first heart beats of time.
When the sphere was visited by the trio of the One, a crowd of angelic beings gathered. Whispers were heard, like the sighing of a warm south wind.
“Is it true? The newly created ones will be like us?”
“Not quite. They won't have our powers.”
“I heard they are being tested; the dark one challenged Father.”
“He claims he can get them to disobey.”
“If he does, it's just a ploy to justify his failed rebellion.”
“What will happen if they do?”
“They must die.”
“Father would never let that happen.”
“Never.”
“But he said they must pay with their lives if...”
The whispers continued, as the sphere journeyed around the greater light. Each time it rotated, the swirls of blue and green grew more beautiful and alive. Each time the trio of the One returned, a crowd of angels gathered. The couple, called Adam, continued to walk in fellowship and obedience. The whispers were replaced by shouts of joy that created beings, with a free will, could choose to obey and succeed.
Finally, the accusations of the dark one would have no merit. As the highest ranked angel in Heaven, he had tried to usurp the throne, only to be defeated by the Prince and the angels who would not listen to his lies. Lies that those created only served the Father out of fear, and not with a heart of love.
But when the day of temptation dawned, a shock ripped through all of creation, shattering their hope. The glow around the sphere dimmed. The mist within the realm lost its shimmer. Thick clouds of righteous indignation descended upon the temple.
This time, defending angels assembled, swords drawn. They closed ranks, wary of the dark one approaching the pillars. He was met at the bottom of the steps by the King of Heaven, who listened to his arrogant boast of victory. The Prince, and the Spirit of Understanding and Truth, joined the King. The triune royalty stood united, unyielding.
Whispers were heard once again throughout the Kingdom, but this time they floated on the chilled air of apprehension and disbelief.
“What did the dark one say?”
“He tempted Adam, and they chose to believe his lies.”
“They failed?”
“Then, he has won...
“Now he's demanding their execution be carried out.”
“But, surely they can't die?”
“Someone has to; he's holding Father to his word.”
“He can't mean...”
Unable to bear the thought, one of the Guardian angels broke away from the crowd and ran to the temple steps, casting himself down in front of the King. He lay prostrate, hands upturned.
All of Heaven was astir, aware that one of their own just volunteered to take the punishment of the condemned couple. At first, no one moved. Then, one by one, they joined their brother.
Their beloved Prince, the only son of the King, stepped forward. He held out his hand to the first angel and drew him to his feet. When he turned his gaze toward the dark one, the former Guardian fled his presence. When he spoke, Heaven held its breath.
“It's already accomplished...I took their place.”
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Not to detract from your piece at all, but I wonder whether God spelled it out so fully to the angels straight away. Perhaps their muttering/breath holding continued until the resurrection (or Pentecost?), when it all became clear!!! No doubt part of the muttering would been about how God could justify not putting these humans to instant death.
Fantastic writing. This must do well. It simply must.