The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/23/06
The story line, although very confusing and mixed up, was great; it's just that it went from one to another scene and the reader gets lost along the way; however, great read! Lots of great points and good common sense! Although I got lost - I still enjoyed every word! Very well done.
11/28/06
Yes, I agree. The sequencing was a bit confusing, but the story line was thought provoking. Lines between the different stories might help the reader process the differences better. Or, use of other clues to connect the pieces before the very end. I had to re-read to catch all the connections. Thanks for sharing.
11/28/06
Ditto. I liked the comparisons, but had a bit of trouble following it all the way through. I like the lesson about honoring instead of just tolerating. Food for thought.
11/28/06
Good writing! This may have been a case of you knowing these people and their stories so well that you didn't put in just a few additional peices of information that would have filled your readers in on times, relationships, etc. But this one is definitely worth an edit--it's a very good story with a lot going for it.
11/29/06
Great detail and description. I also got a bit lost in the different characters, but found the overlying theme and story VERY strong.
11/29/06
Though it is a bit hard to follow, there is a great treasure buried in this piece about the difference between honor and tolerance. Thanks! Cheri
11/29/06
An interesting take on the subject. It provoked me to thought. Thanks for sharing this
11/30/06
I agree with the previous reviewers, but it was an interesting read with a different format.