The Official Writing Challenge
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I love the names you chose. Lydia, the Lady of luxurious linen sales and Mr. Emmanuel - Jesus. Very neat allegories happening. However, you made me, as the reader, guess the relationship between the narrator and Lydia. I guess younger sister. This should be cleared up within the first reference to the bride. Maybe by just adding "sister Lydia" or something of that sort. A little more detail about the bride and a bit less about the food too. Those are my only wishes as a reader. Good job. Miss Andre.
06/19/06
Starting the story in past tense, then switching to first was a little worrisome, but the essence of the story flowed. Interesting names, including the village. Kind of reminds me of some village scenes in Central America.