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TRUST JESUS TODAY

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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Purposefulness (Purpose in Life) (05/25/06)
To please my Colleagues
I must arrive on time and not a sec’ too late,
While smiling as students request play dates.
Serve buns and popcorn to students so loud,
Followed by a clean-up of the messy crowd.
Get the pupils to play nicely with each other,
Then make sure each gets home to their mother.

To please my Friends
I must call often and e-mail each day,
While pledging to think of them as I pray.
Invite those close to eat by candlelight,
Followed by an amusing, fun night.
Say goodnight when the evening’s done,
Then urge to meet once more under the sun.

To please my Children
I must sit on the floor and play with trains,
While reading books about pink princess brains.
Serve spaghetti and bread by six o ’clock,
Followed by a dessert of choco’ lot.
Fill the bathtub with toys to their small heads,
Then say g ‘night with stories by their beds.

To please my Husband
I must write notes of love from his own sweet,
While making a lunch of rye bread and meat.
Serve lamb, steak, or pork for dinner in pounds,
Followed by dessert of sweet lemon rounds.
Give massages on shoulders and a back,
Then let him sleep so no rest he will lack.

To please my Jesus
I must wait and be my self at His throne,
While surrendering my will to His own.
Serve others with much gratitude and love,
Followed by loads of praise to Him above.
Give all to purposes He made me for,
Then work to His praise and see what’s in store.
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This article has been read 1414 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Rita Garcia
06/02/06
Really connected with the last verse. Great job!
Sherril Wendling
06/04/06
Ha ha! This extremely clever piece really tickled me-are you a rap artist? Great, catchy meter, and you did it so well. The reader can identify thoroughly. Good flow of thought and organization, buildling to the final purpose: pleasing our Lord.

Now I'm stuck with a problem: how to get this out of my head so I can keep on critiquing...I think it's time for an afternoon snack!

Well done!
Shari Armstrong 
06/04/06
Very nice -so easy to relate to. Good job!
Marilyn Schnepp 
06/04/06
The Title lured me in; and although the verses didn't exactly flow smoothly - they were brilliantly done with truth and honesty. An entry that spelled out purpose with a Capital P. Thanks for sharing.
Jan Ackerson
06/05/06
Oh goodness, you really nailed it! Haven't we all felt this way?

I liked the structure and the rhyming format; the meter was not as flow-y as it could be, but a few tweaks would take care of that.

The last verse bears reading again and again.
Jessica Schmit
06/05/06
This is truly on topic. Beautiful message. I did find a few verses to be a little off, but the others pointed out the mistakes I caught. You're improving greatly as a writer and I'm looking forward to seeing your name come up in lights soon! great work. I also really liked the formating of this piece. It made it really easy to follow.
Edy T Johnson
06/05/06
Your poem has bounce to it! You give your readers an enjoyable vehicle for the message of a multi-purposed life, keeping all the balls in the air. I think poetry was a good choice, as reading this as a piece of prose would, I think, just make us weary at the pace of life that runs us ragged! Good job!
Debra Brand 
06/06/06
Thanks for pointing out how busy we are pleasing everyone and reminding us to please God most of all. Good work.
Lisa Vest
06/14/06
Rachel, Fun poem full of "purpose" and meaning. Women wear so many hats and you beautifully illustrated that each job we do serves a purpose to the people around us and the God who loves us. I really enjoyed reading this.