The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/04/20
I really enjoyed the story. I do suggest proof reading for punctuation and spacing. Great job! God Bless!
06/04/20
With some more work, this would be a very interesting story. You might want to write your draft, then let it set for awhile. I do that with mine, even if I think it's ready to submit. I wait, and then I discover typos and the overuse of words. I submit once I no longer make edits. Even if it's at the last minute. There's no need to hurry your entry.
06/06/20
I love suspense mysteries so you had my attention. Work on punctuation and spelling. Could be a novel!

06/08/20
Intriguing story.
Wow I really love your story. I would love to know what happens when he goes back to the adventure that awaits him. Indiana Jones look out! Lol Keep writing :)