You've Got a Friend | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: You've Got a Friend | Previous Challenge Entry
By Desré Nikolich
04/04/05
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Having friends is often something we often take for granted. In our disposable age, it is almost as if everything is dispensable. Most of us would rate relationships as being high on our list of priorities. Yet if you were to look at a full 24-hour day, how much time do we literally give to building and developing relationships?

We all mean well. I mean, if they really needed our help, we would be there for them, right?

Do you have some friends that were close to you say 10 years ago, but you have just lost track and they are now outside of the loop? Sometimes it is just a time thing, and sometimes you both change almost imperceptively over time. Then when you catch up with them, you seem to be missing a common link. Do you remember that awkwardness when you tried to connect, and it just did not work?

Well about 5 years ago, I got a letter from a friend that had moved overseas. I had been in infrequent contact. In fact, I hadn’t gotten in contact with her for over 12 months. She sent me a letter – firstly with a lovely card wishing me all the best in the future. Then within the letter, she requested that I no longer consider her a close friend anymore. I was stunned. Why would she bother to write such a letter? Why not let the relationship die a natural death and not be so blatant!

Well this got me into action. I HAD to make contact with her to see where she was coming from. I tried calling her but her husband said that she was in the shower. I wrote to her to which she responded. She advised that she no longer wished to discuss things with me and she hoped that I had friends within my local community. Therefore, when I responded I said although you no longer wish to be my friend, I still consider you my friend. I have never heard from her since. This taught me a powerful lesson. Friendship is something to be prized…something to cultivate…something to work on over time.

Often you hear people say that true friends can be counted on the fingers on one hand. When you look at the life of Christ, he had many followers, but he had a close inner circle of friends. There is something powerful about being in an inner circle of friends. My husband I have two couples that we are especially close to. We share with them our joys and sorrows and they likewise with us. Sharing deeper gives you a sense of connectedness and puts your own problems in perspective.

Friendship connects you to the real world outside of the material world we so often long for. In our frenzied state of goals, achievements, money and power, we seek to establish ourselves as invincible. Yet when people lose their health, often the goals they had previously change. People who are aged or disabled are often sidelined in the game of life we play. We have forgotten how to "be ourselves". Taking time for others helps us to connect the world around us in a unifying way. Being authentic and genuinely interested in others is the key to establishing genuine friendship. It is never too late to develop the traits of friendship that are valued. Why not kindle a friendship today?

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