The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/02/06
Really connected with the last verse. Great job!
Ha ha! This extremely clever piece really tickled me-are you a rap artist? Great, catchy meter, and you did it so well. The reader can identify thoroughly. Good flow of thought and organization, buildling to the final purpose: pleasing our Lord.

Now I'm stuck with a problem: how to get this out of my head so I can keep on critiquing...I think it's time for an afternoon snack!

Well done!
06/03/06
Very nice -so easy to relate to. Good job!
06/04/06
The Title lured me in; and although the verses didn't exactly flow smoothly - they were brilliantly done with truth and honesty. An entry that spelled out purpose with a Capital P. Thanks for sharing.
06/05/06
Oh goodness, you really nailed it! Haven't we all felt this way?

I liked the structure and the rhyming format; the meter was not as flow-y as it could be, but a few tweaks would take care of that.

The last verse bears reading again and again.
This is truly on topic. Beautiful message. I did find a few verses to be a little off, but the others pointed out the mistakes I caught. You're improving greatly as a writer and I'm looking forward to seeing your name come up in lights soon! great work. I also really liked the formating of this piece. It made it really easy to follow.
06/05/06
Your poem has bounce to it! You give your readers an enjoyable vehicle for the message of a multi-purposed life, keeping all the balls in the air. I think poetry was a good choice, as reading this as a piece of prose would, I think, just make us weary at the pace of life that runs us ragged! Good job!
06/06/06
Thanks for pointing out how busy we are pleasing everyone and reminding us to please God most of all. Good work.
06/13/06
Rachel, Fun poem full of "purpose" and meaning. Women wear so many hats and you beautifully illustrated that each job we do serves a purpose to the people around us and the God who loves us. I really enjoyed reading this.