The Official Writing Challenge
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I loved this! This has to be a winner. If it isn't I WILLBE SHOCKED! You did a fabulous job of retelling this story. Awesome!
03/15/06
Wonderful, wonderful writing here.
03/15/06
Wonderful re-telling of this story...it's very interesting to see it from the demon-possessed man's viewpoint.
One grammatical thing-maybe I'm wrong, but I noticed a couple of commas that I wasn't sure should be there.
Such as, "He shrieked at the boys, charged them." Maybe it's acceptable, though!
03/16/06
Yeah - loved this. Best I've read so far. You really got inside his head. Brilliant.
03/16/06
Well Done! This may be a winner!
One point I didn't like: was giving the man a name. (But that's just my opinion.)
One or two more paragraphs (which pushes you over the word count) could show his utter astonishment at the people begging Jesus to leave.
I think this is a top-five!
I don't usually like bible story remakes, but this is amazing. Very well done. It really makes you consider what the man must have gone through. Thanks for sharing it with us.
This is a great story. I'm really glad it made it out of the scrap heap. Love ya.
What a thorough, believable telling of this familiar tale!!! I loved it all - the description, the action, the interaction, the deliverance, the lesson. You are an artist, here, painting a picture w/ words and then inscribing hope on the reader's heart!!! An astonishing bit of story-telling that explains how Jesus unlocks the power of sin and sets us FREE!! :-)