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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: BRAND (01/12/17)
How would you describe someone with a mental health condition? What does that person look like? Is there some kind of mark that distinguishes a normal person as opposed to one with a mental health problem?

I recently saw online the words 'God forbids antidepressants'. My heart was in my mouth. I felt sick at these words. Condemnation clamped around my heart with a vice-like grip.

'Does God really forbid antidepressants?' I shuddered in fear. For days these words haunted me, branded upon me like a hot iron. A false guilt pressed into my already fractured mind.

I recalled my breakdown in 2002, caused by childhood abuse, domestic violence. Years of holding in my emotions broke like a dam. Ironically, weeks before I had watched the old movie 'The Dam Busters'. I had never taken a tablet in my life. Working full time, taking care of my mum, dealing with a violent husband created cracks in my mind. My daughter then eight years old having panic attacks due to the stress from her father. The inevitable happened. I broke down mentally.

Today, some fifteen years later, the LORD recalled to my mind memories from the abuse I had as a very young child. Still with a lot of deep anxieties and compulsive disorders, I spoke to my doctor about coming off my antidepressants. I had prayed to the LORD to guide my doctor with wisdom on my diagnosis. It is not that time yet. I shall have to bear the stigma a while longer.

As a young child under the age of five I endured sexual molestation, physical torture as a means of control. I still fear men today, still fear being trapped and raped, the memories just as clear from fifty years ago.

I take great comfort in the very words of Jesus. Blessed are those who are poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven. I thank God that He came for those who are sick and not healthy. For He chooses the weak things of this world to shame the wise, the despised things. I have been the blot and stain both in the church, the world and with so-called professionals in the mental health arena.

Even now as an adult, my emotions are still trapped as a child. These take the longest to heal because all trust was broken. God continues to rescue me from those too powerful for me, but God has promised to deliver me from all my fears. God has healed those physical parts of me that can be seen, but those wounds hidden from man, but not to God, take longer.

In 2006 I heard the audible voice of the LORD with the comforting words 'I am the LORD that healeth thee'. God even gave me the seed of faith to believe Him! Only the LORD knows to what extent my mind was shattered. Jagged pieces of a jigsaw puzzle lay in a thousand pieces.

So I thank God for antidepressants because they have enabled me to function, but more than that I am with God's help able to love and trust. For those adults who failed me so badly God has proved to me beyond any doubt that He is totally trustworthy. I know Jesus loves me and this love is slowly transforming my life every day. One day I won't need antidepressants but for now I thank God He isn't the one who brings shame upon either my mind or my life.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Wendy Godwin
01/23/17
This heartfelt story flows nicely. I am so thankful that our God is the Great Physician and can heal us from the abuses man inflicts. I am also thankful that He gives wisdom to our earthly physicians to prescribe medications that can help bring comfort and healing.
Jason Barnett 
01/23/17
Amen. This story is an incredible testament to the grace and power of God.

I find it hard to believe that people in the church world are incapable of believing God works through science, like medicine. Who are we to tell the world how God works?

Thank you for this article.
Trudy Newell
01/27/17
Jacky - Thanks so much for sharing from your life and heart so openingly.

May God, indeed, place His sweet healing touch on your heart and wrap you in His arms of love.

Your entry flowed so nicely, and had such a powerful message to all of us - not to slot people,'brand' them.

Thanks again, and I look forward to seeing your next entry.

Love and prayers from a sis in Christ - Trudy