The Official Writing Challenge
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01/11/06
Well written and you captured the pain of abuse and how it entraps the soul. I liked your ending which offers hope and restoration in Christ. Well done.
01/12/06
Oh, this must have been hard to write! Good job tackling a difficult subject, and in giving victory at the end.
I began to read this out loud, then decided to read it to myself for obvious reasons.
I can't imagine the horror of a child caught in this kind of nightmare! You built the suspense well up to their escape away from the abusive father. Good commentary on what is needed to heal the adult heart that has grown but never cast off the anger of the childhood.
It truly is a "cancer of blackness that [dwells] in the heart of the abused one.
Thank you for sharing a definitely painful subject.
Cassie, I echo the sentiments above. What a skillful telling of a very difficult subject, and what a sensitive and clear resolution with hope and renewal!
This situation was very well portrayed. You did an excellent job of showing the interaction between the father and Sarah. My one small observation on how you could improve would just be not to overuse her name. Other than that, I think you did a great job Cassie!

(By the way, with mine I was thinking Twinkies, but chocolate works too! hehehe)
01/13/06
Loved this. You took on a sensitive subject and worked through it realistically and beautifully. Although personally I loved it and realize your bold and powerful message, it could come across as preaching a little at the end. I might get inside Sarah's head more instead of just telling what the speaker said. Just my opinion though. Regardless, I loved the piece. A wonderful take on "Escape."
Blessings, Lynda
01/14/06
Wow! Congratulations on tackling such a horrible subject. You did a brilliant job at tying together the two ways that Jesus rescued her. My one suggestion would be to start with the ending ("Sarah was uncomfortable entering the church...") and then flashback to her childhood. That might help tighten up the time span in such a short story.
01/14/06
A difficult topic. You captured the character of the girl/woman very convincingly. Well done. I echo Lynda's comments about the end. Yeggy