The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/17/14
In the third paragraph I would have it say, 'On this particular day they might have' (instead of may have). Also where it says: 'The clerks could have looked up from their afternoon routine...' I would have it say 'The clerks might have looked up from their afternoon routine,' - this is just a suggestion.
Overall funny story, and quite a believable mistake for two unbeknownst grandmother's.
10/18/14
Priceless and fun to read. I really enjoyed it, thank you so much.

God bless~
I thoroughly enjoyed this one. very funny.
10/23/14
This is a cute story. I could figure out what kind of store it was but you made it too regional. I've never heard of Christy's Toy Box. (It wouldn't work if you didn't keep the Toy Box in the name though so I don't know how you could fix that.) Aren't I helpful? :) I Googled it to make sure I was right with what I thought. I could just see those two in there. How funny! :)
10/23/14
Congrats!

God bless~
Sweet and absolutely charming . . .
Congratulations!

KJV 1 Timothy 3:16
"And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory."