The Official Writing Challenge
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09/13/05
Very interesting allegory! I had to read it twice to be sure of what was going on, but it definitely grew on me. It would be better still with spaces between paragraphs. Keep writing!
09/14/05
Good work for the topic.
This allegory was well thought out and well written. Spaces between paragraphs would make the piece easier to read and I think there were a few incorrect tenses, but overall a very good piece. One more comment, "Scriptures" in the second to last paragraph sounded too jargon-y. Thanks for sharing.
09/16/05
You set yourself a difficult task and it came off well! I would have liked your character's friend to have had a name but maybe that was your intention.
09/17/05
Very well done and most interesting.
09/17/05
I love conversion pieces! My wish is that you would expand on the verses read that led to the loss of anger and salvation. Maybe quote a verse that spoke to you when you were converted. His word will not return back void. Great idea for the topic!
09/17/05
A nicely written analogy :)
09/18/05
this is nice and strong. Good entry ... nice twist at the end. Kept my interest. Congrats!
I really loved this! What a creative take to Bon Voyage! It would have been a little easier with more spacing between lines. I can't wait to meet my Captain too!
09/19/05
Congratulations! Many Blessings, Holly
09/21/05
Rachel, well done. This was a very good entry and the idea was very fresh and clever. Congratulations on your 3rd place in the Level 2 Awards. Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)