The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Your writing is easy to read and generally flows nicely. There was a disconnect for me, though, after you mention finding the writing contest online. The illnesses didn't seem to fit. I'm wondering if finding the contest would be better situated nearer the end of the piece, just before the friend gets her attention again.

I love how God works and I love stories that give Him praise for what He's done!! Thank you.

thank you I enjoyed this but I did get lost when it suddenly jumped into first person . Sometimes this can work well but it just confused and unsettled me and left me wondering why. some of the other parts were a bit confusing too.
It was a bit confusing but all in all it was well written. Keep on keeping on and with time everything will fall into place. Good job. Thanks.
I think it is really great that you are stepping it up and "stretching your writing wings". Good for you!

It's easy as a writer to
assume that the reader knows what's going on because...
it's so obvious to us! :)

I think you have a bit too much going on here.
New found faith, multiple
illnesses, blossoming
writing talent, etc.

When we have too much going on our writing tends toward
just telling the facts. "This happened and
then that happened and then..." with not much room
for inviting the reader in emotionally.
Do you know what I mean?

I hope that helps some.

I enjoyed the warmth and friendship between these two gals.

Keep writing! :)
I see you do have a transition sentence setting up the next few paragraphs of her remembering when it all started for her and that's good. Maybe it needs to be a separate sentence standing alone instead of being connected to her reply. But I tell you, this is really good. I did not get confused or bogged down because life happens just as you wrote it. THIS has a lot of potential.
I think you did quite well and I loved the reminder of "Who knew?" It's so cool that God is never surprised...Well done!
I think I was at that conference!!! I plan to go again this year, maybe I'll see you there. ;) I had the same thoughts about the thousands of Christian women in Georgia :) I really like how you slipped into first person for the "remembering" part - Carla's thoughts - then back to the present (and 3rd person again) and her friend's question that sparked the trip down memory lane. It's hard to pull off, but you did it well. Kudos!
Good dialogue, nice descriptions. Keep up this great writing!
Heehee! I think it might take more than just ONE more mocha to get all of that story out! lolz. Good job with this! I liked the way you tied it all together.
I share two experiences with your MC, but the women's conference was not one of them! God prepared me for my wife's long term illness and extended stay in a hospital and I also found that writing competition. God laid the foundation and the wonderful Christians at FaithWriters inspired me to stay strong... and they didn't even know they were doing it. Your story left me saying "I've been there... I know what she is talking about." Any time you can do that, you have written a good piece. Listen to what the others have said. You are full of great writing potential.
Hi Scarlett. I just wanted to leave a quick note to let you know your entry, Who Knew?, actually did very well in the Empty and Full Challenge. Although you didn't receive an award, you made it into the Highest Rankings for Level 2, placing 7th in that Level. Give yourself a pat on the back! :-)

If you'd like to check the highest rankings for yourself, you can find them here:

The highest rankings are posted every Thursday evening on the Message Boards.

Hope to see you at the FaithWriters' Conference in August. It’s going to be an amazing time of inspiration, information and encouragement. (If I’ve already mentioned that to you, forgive me. We’re just so excited about letting members know about this great gathering.)

With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)