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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Hope (05/04/06)
Hope For Sarah

My heart sank as I watched Sarah walk toward me across the lawn. Her sleeveless, strapless top fluttered in the breeze, exposing her pierced belly button and hip-hugging shorts. Vibrant colors of a new tattoo drew my attention down to her bare ankles. Trying not to rudely stare, I averted my gaze back to the top of her head. She had also died her short hair a fiery red and the amount of make-up on her face could’ve covered at least three people. I should’ve kept my eyes on the tattoo!
“Don’t I look cute?” Sarah said as she bobbed up and down and twirled around so I could see all of her. I wanted to tell her she looked like she belonged on a street corner, but I remained silent and forced a smile. “We’re going four-wheeling and swimming later. I can’t wait—it’ll be so much fun!” She goes on in detail about how she met this new guy and how cute he is and how much fun they had at the party last night. I try to conceal from her the pain that’s gripping my chest. Why can’t she understand that what she is telling me of the kind of life she is living is breaking my heart?
Later that night, I lie awake thinking about her. I watched her grow from a cute little, bright-eyed girl to a beautiful young woman. If only I could’ve foreseen the path she would take…. I hate knowing what she is doing to her soul. I hate even more that there is nothing that I can do to change her. With all the temptations out there for her, is there really any hope that she’ll ever come around? My doubting heart wants to believe that there isn’t.
Then that sweet, still small voice nudges its way into my thoughts, “As long as there is life, there is hope.” What good am I to Sarah if a have nothing but doubt in my heart? I need to be there for Sarah any way that I can and remind her that she is loved. I need to be an example for her. Any little word or phrase, any show of love or affection could touch her heart and help her want something better than what the world offers.
My mind goes to the story of the prodigal son. When all others gave up hope for the son who took the way of the world, his father continued to have faith. And what unsurpassed joy he felt in his heart when the day he’d been praying for finally arrived and he watched his son come home. Tears roll down my cheeks as God places in my heart the hope that I will someday rejoice when Sarah comes home to her Father.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Virginia Gorg
05/12/06
Good message here of hope. Is this told by one of her parents? Check spelling - hair is 'dyed' not 'died.' More dialogue might have helped move it along better. But overall, nicely done.
Melanie Kerr 
05/12/06
I thought your description of Sarah was very good and you had a very clear message. The Prodigal Son is a favourite parable of mine. It helps to separate the paragraphs with a line - makes it easier on the eye.
Helen Paynter
05/15/06
Good description of Sarah. I wondered if you could expand on her lifestyle a little more? I think the reader could be left with the impression that her 'prodigality' (is there such a word?) lies in her dyed hair and tattoo (surely not?) rather than in her wayward life. I know you described skimpy clothing, but I felt that a little godless chatter from her would flesh it out a bit (no pun inteneded!) Great message to hope for our prodigals.
Steve Uppendahl
05/16/06
I think you have the potential for a great story here. You have chosen a solid topic that effects many of us.

As mentioned above, I think more dialogue would help give us more insight into Sarah, the narrator and their relationship. BTW, who is the narrator? Parent, relative, friend?

Still, a solid job.