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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Spring (as in the season) (11/28/05)
A Time To Rejoice

It was sometime in January and I distinctly remember the feeling of coldness seeping deep into my bones. It was winter in every sense of the word in my life. Bare, dark, and dreary were the words that would best describe my innermost places. I was hiking in the hills of Mt. Diablo and thinking how beautiful everything was. I wished that I were beautiful. There was a pond that was still frozen over. It was early afternoon but everything around me was still covered in frost. The air felt cold and wintry on my cheek and the same thoughts continued to grind their way around in my head.

“You could end it all here and nobody would even know.”
I kept walking, determined to ignore the pain. My surroundings were as cold as my insides.
How many times during the week had I thought about ways to end everything? There was the old stand-by, the favorite. Take too many pills and hope I don’t wake up. For some reason though, I was fascinated with knives. I remember one time I took a knife to bed with me and hid it under my pillow, just in case I got up enough guts to actually do it. I was going downhill fast and not the booze, men, or even the job could make it better. I was in serious trouble. Despite God’s promises that there is a time and a season for everything, I didn’t feel that spring was going to be coming at all. There was nothing for me to look forward to. I felt dead inside and out and actually wished it.

One Year Later

The brightness of the sun temporarily blinded me as I stepped outside in my new spring outfit. In the following months since that cold January, God had delivered me. I started to going to recovery meetings and actually learning how to communicate my wants and needs, but most importantly, how to forgive the people who I felt had driven me to my depression. I was amazed at how new everything looked around me. I had stayed in a mental hospital for nearly three weeks and when I got out, I couldn’t stop praising God. Something happened while I was there. God spoke to me and nursed me back to healing. He provided Christian nurses to look after and fellowship with me. Somehow, He brought me back to the land of the living. Winter was over.

I never knew how much I took for granted, how much He had his hand on my life, in the midst of all the suffering. Whether I was aware of it or not, God had planted spring in me and the buds just needed a little watering before they grew out of the fertile soil that was my soul. I learned that there is always a way out, as long as I trust the Lord and believe that He really does love me and finds me worthy of his attention. Until then I had never believed that I was worthy of anything, not love and certainly not attention. Before God got a good hold on me, I didn’t believe I was worth anything.

I praise Him that he allowed me to go through that cold winter so that I could see him take care of me the way that nobody else in my life ever had. I saw him put people directly in my path whose sole purpose was to love me. I saw him answer one prayer after another. I remember those frigid days with a kind of fondness now, because I know what happened after I cried out for help. I was saved and spring did come. It washed over me and embraced me. It saturated and filled up every missing piece. I am still soaking up the warmth of spring, still reveling in all he has done for me, these many years later. No matter the temperature, to me it will always be spring.
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This article has been read 1298 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Sandra Petersen
12/06/05
Good job showing the transformation in your soul from one winter to the next. Sinking into the depths of depression is sometimes the very place we need to be so that God can show us the length of His reach and the strength of His grasp. Be careful about using the word 'it'. Ask yourself what 'it' stands for and see if substituting that word would sound right or if rearranging the sentence to remove 'it' would help. For example, "It was sometime in January and I distinctly remember the feeling of coldness seeping deep into my bones" could be written "I distinctly remember that day in January when I realized the feeling of coldness that was seeping deep into my bones." I was taught somewhere that 'it' should almost always refer to something named in the beginning of the sentence or in a previous sentence. In your last paragraph, the word 'it' is understood to mean the spring in your soul; 'it' can be used both times there because 'spring' is the antecedent.
Some of your sentences really stood out for me: "Despite God’s promises that there is a time and a season for everything, I didn’t feel that spring was going to be coming at all.", "Somehow, He brought me back to the land of the living. Winter was over.", "God had planted spring in me and the buds just needed a little watering before they grew out of the fertile soil that was my soul", " No matter the temperature, to me it will always be spring." Amen, and amen! A good reflection on the difference God makes when He delivers us.

James Clem
12/07/05
Transformation is sharp. Wonderful Contrast. I think you can make this even better once you escape the word count limitation.
tanya heinemann
12/07/05
Beautiful testimony!
Jan Ackerson
12/07/05
Very well done. If you take a second look at this piece, consider writing it as a short story, "you" make a compelling character. This was a blessing to read.
Allison Millward
12/10/05
Lovely testimony piece. Nicely written.