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Topic: Luggage (08/15/05)
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TITLE: Leaving for Good | Previous Challenge Entry
By Carrie Sund
08/21/05 -
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I went into the kitchen to see what was going on, there was a plate of pancakes and a cup of coffee at my usual seat at the table. I ate in silence until my wife told the kids to go get ready. I asked why the suitcases were in the foyer and she replied “We are leaving for good this time.” The sad thing is I was not surprised I have not been a good husband or father but I kept thinking I will work harder at my job to make up for all the bad things. I have not really changed my ways though, so I should have seen this coming.
I figured this was a good time to start praying, something I had not done since I was a child. I did not want to loose my family but was doing nothing to save it either. I decided to pray over their luggage one at a time starting with my youngest daughter, Kimberly. Then I prayed for my other daughter, Jessica.
Then I was getting ready to pray for my wife when it hit me that I was the one who needed to be prayed for. My family has been showing love me for years while I hurt them time and again. I can no longer count the times I have made my wife cry. I have had several lovers and an addiction to pornography. Every time I am caught I promise never to do it again and yet I never keep the promises. I always find a way to blame her and say things like maybe if you would loose some of that weight I would still want to have sex with you.
She does not deserve this, so I start to feel that they are better off without me and I turn to go say good bye to my family, but on the floor next to my wife’s chair is my wife’s prayer journal. It is full of prayers mostly for me and the children; I am surprised to see even on the day she is leaving me she is still praying that the Lord will some how save our marriage.
She may have said it is for good this time but with the Lords help I am going to get her back by letting him change my ways. I will see the luggage back in the foyer someday.
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