The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 639 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This was an interesting story with a nice ending, but I was a bit confused with where Rich came from. Did I miss something?

Otherwise, a nice story.
I caught who Rich was... her son! This was such a sweet story of a very brave woman. I wish I was like that! One suggestion... if you use fewer I's and she's and vary it a bit, you'll find that your story flows smoother. Great message here!
06/10/09
gosh what persistance this character had! I am glad that the persistance was rewarded. It would have rounded the story better if you had added a few lines about how the author made friend with the son Rich (? when he played as a child with her shildren maybe) you could cut out a little of the attempts to engage with the neighbour if you are short on words. Bitter to sweet - yes definately.