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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)
Being a mother can be hard job. My son has be reminded to take bath every 3 days. He is 14, and he is pretty helpful with doing the route, barbequing hamburgs, and doing some yard work around the complex. I have rules for him such as completing his homework before playing MP3 games or watching T.V.
I have a six year old girl who I have to be careful with. As mother and daughter, we bike down to the park, draw some pictures, and I help her with her school work.
I guess you could call me an overprotective Mom when I don't allow her to play with just anyone. I don't mind her playing with some kids in the neighbourhood where I can see her, but when she is out of my sight, I worry about her unless she's playing with one of her friends inside their house when an adult is home. I don't like it when my daughter plays with somebody who is mouthy, and swears. My own mother disapproved that as well for me.
As a child my mother reminded me clean my room more than once. Sometimes I didn't feel like it. My son is like that as well. He keeps his clothes in a pile on the floor. When I tell him to clean his room, he spend over 20 minutes doing so.
I guess in a way, I am just as fussy about keeping the house neat just like my mother was. I must admit don't keep the house as clean as the way she has hers, but I certainly don't like living in a pigsty. I can't imagine life now without being a Mother. It's a priveledge in which God gave us where as some women don't get or desire to be a mother.
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This article has been read 916 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Sara Harricharan
05/01/08
This is a lovel glimpse into your life! Thanks for sharing, I liked the details such as taking your daughter to the park, etc. Very good! ^_^
Tessy Fuller
05/01/08
You have a lot of good thoughts but you need to organize them better. I would suggest to take time making an outline of some sort, pick your best points and then expand on them. Also make sure you watch for spelling and grammar - Your first sentence was incomplete - "Being a mother can be hard job." Being a mother can be a hard job. You had some great thoughts on being an overprotective mother. Maybe you could of picked that main subject and then expanded on that in detail. Keep writing, you had some good thoughts they just need a little something to back them up.
Allan Morelos
05/02/08
Great ideas and specific details.
Beckie Stewart
05/02/08
Ahh, yes, all the things that come with being a mother of two children. It is an awesome responsibility.
Bill Obenauer
05/03/08
I love your message. Nice job.

As mentioned above, watch for grammar and spelling. "my mother reminded me clean my room," would sound a little smoother as "my mother reminded me to clean my room." I noticed a few spelling glitches such as hamburger. Try running your story through MS Word first and it will help catch a lot of these for you.

Also, because this site does not allow you to indent paragraphs, it is nice to break them up by leaving a line in between them. You can preview your story prior to submission to see how it looks.

You had some wonderful thoughts that you put out here and I hope that you continue to contribute to FaithWriters!!!
Leticia Caroccio
05/05/08
You did get your thought across on motherhood and the privileges that come with it, along with the awesome responsibilities, too. However, I would try to give more examples of specific moments during your day. Also, try to missed words, misspelled words and your grammar. Keep writing, though, it gets easier. Be blessed.
Karen Story
05/06/08
I can agree with you that motherhood is hard; but a privledge. Run your piece through a spellcheck and grammmar check next time. Wrap the ending up with something that refers to the beginning. Tell a bit more of a story in the middle - you are lacking about 400 words. Keep working at this and God Bless You and your family. HUGS
Lollie Hofer 
05/10/08
What a wonderful mother you seem to be. Valiant effort. A bit of advice would be to take a good look at the tips being offered. You have great thoughts and insight into your children. Organize your thoughts a little more and you'll just fine. Enjoyed getting to know your family.