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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Lifeguard (11/09/06)
Bright sunshine warmed the ocean water. Sea gulls flew swiftly atop the surface, dipping and diving between successive waves. Maria waded knee deep into the seemingly tranquil waters. Deeper and still deeper she ventured until the water lapped against her chin. She recalled the sign posted at the beach entrance: Danger, No Swimming Allowed.

As she glided about the water, cherishing this tranquil time alone, she wondered what kind of idiot would post such a sign at a place she deemed perfect for swimming. No rocks, no vicious waves, no terrible currents, nothing but tranquil sea lay in her view. She propelled herself a little deeper off shore.

Maria looked back up the beach where she noticed a lifeguard. He hollered out to sea, “Come out of there, its too dangerous!” His hands beckoned with urgency. Too stubborn and to proud to face him, she stayed, but not without her mind firing off a million questions. She reasoned, as she had already done, that there could be nothing wrong with where she was swimming. She stayed out there a long while hoping the lifeguard would take a hint and leave.

He stayed, all the while persistently calling and beckoning that she come back. He knew what lay beneath the water’s surface. The sunshine, calm surface water, and absence of rocks all belied this wide stretch of ocean. He watched Maria intently as she glided off to his right. Hoping that she would take a hold, he threw her a line. If she grabbed it he would pull her to safety. The flotation device attached to the end of the line came skidding near her. With annoyance she looked upon it.

Why wouldn’t he just leave her alone? If he went away she would go onshore, otherwise the thought of facing his wrath was too much to bear. Maybe if she moved further off shore, he would give up and go home. With a smooth glide, she headed out toward the horizon.

Suddenly she felt a force beneath her. With little to no effort on her part, she seemed to be going around in a large circle. Only when she got to moving faster and faster still, did she begin to panic. Whirling about just beneath her was a whirlpool. It pulled her closer and closer to its center until she had no control of her direction. Helpless, she cried as the pool sucked her into its deadly grip.

The lifeguard stood on shore, tears streaming down his face. He fell to his knees and wept bitterly, for he had lost another beloved.

Maria is a sinner, the lifeguard is God. She ignored the warning sign posted clearly for her to see, much like we ignore the warnings posted in God’s word.

Just as the ocean was seemingly safe and calm, so the world of sin often appears to us.

Once in the ocean, Maria began reasoning much like many of us do when we know we are doing something wrong.

Maria realized that she was in danger, much like we often realize we’ve sinned and need help.

Maria would not go on shore or take the lifeline because of shame and fear, much like many of us will not go to God because we feel ashamed and afraid of his wrath.

Like the lifeguard, God’s heart is aching for us to come to safety. He will beckon and gesture for us, even throw out a line, but unless we take that line or willfully respond to his actions he is not able to do anything more. God does not force his will upon us.

Will you allow shame and fear to pull you into a life of deadly destruction, or will you respond to God by taking his lifeline so he can welcome you into his arms as his beloved?
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
11/17/06
You're a very good writer, and your first half was an excellent illustration of the insidious effects of sin, and the sorrow of our Savior when a sinner is lost.

I'd encourage you to trust your writing ability more, and to let the story speak for itself. I "got it" right away, because you wrote it beautifully. The lesson in the last half lost my interest, because I'd already figured out your lesson.

This is an outstanding entry.
Donna Powers
11/18/06
I agree with Jan. You told the story very well, and the parable was clear. Keep developing your writing. You are a great storyteller.
Connie Van Berkel
11/18/06
Your story writing is excellent and drew me in right away. I too got the message in the first half.
A suggestion...you could easily turn your story into a devotional by rewriting your final spiritual statements into questions. I look forward to your next "writing challenge" entry.
Joanne Sher 
11/18/06
I definitely agree with the comments above - your word picture was VERY clear in the beginning part, and felt a bit "redone" in the second. A very powerful parable!
Trina Courtenay
11/19/06
I have to agree with the others. You are able to create a vivid word picture thus the explanation is not needed. You're very talented! May the Lord continue to guide your quill as you write to glorify HIM!
Catrina Bradley
11/21/06
I'm going to disagree slightly with the other commenters in that I liked that you gave the explanation - much like Jesus told parables and then explained the deeper meaning to those who "didn't get it". We as Christians did get it, but if this is read by a non-believer, they would need the latter part. One problem I did have with the 2nd half was when you said Maria knew she was in trouble. She didn't - until it was too late to be saved.
Excellent writing! Keep it up.