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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Garden (09/07/06)
Where are the roses?

She stood in the middle of the garden. If that’s really what you could call it. The holly hocks had taken over and were above her head. There were thistles everywhere. About the time she got excited at the hue of a beautiful purple flower she would reach out and prick her finger on the thorns.

“Oh, Daddy, where are you?” her heart cried. “I miss you so much! I remember walking in the garden with you. There were roses, roses with dew on them. Where are the roses? I long to hear your voice and to be hugged so tightly that I can feel your heart beat. And now…” she thought as she wiped a tear. “Now, I’m just wrestling with weeds.”

She slowly surveyed the mess, wondering where to even begin. How could beauty come from such a neglected place? As she tried to muster up a plan of attack, she thought she saw the holly hocks in the far corner swaying. She made her way over through the tough stalks and the prickles of the thistles. There in the corner of the forgotten garden was a pint-sized woman kneeling on the ground.

As she stood watching the woman, she noticed how carefully her sun-weathered fingers caressed the earth as she lifted away years of leaves and debris. Underneath all the debris was a rose, small but preserved. A breeze blew wrestling the weeds. The kneeling woman turned. She rose smiling, extending her hand, “Hi, I’m Grace. I heard you had come back to your dad’s garden. I thought I would help. It can be pretty overwhelming.”

As Hope knelt down beside Grace she cupped her hand around the rose. “My dad’s garden,” she sighed. “There will be roses, again. Roses with Grace’s help. And maybe, just maybe I’ll feel his heartbeat as I walk here.”
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Alexandra Wilkin
09/15/06
This captured rather nicely the sense of grief and being overwhelmed by life in the middle paragraphs, and after reading this through a couple of times I decided I liked the use of very short sentances at the start. But just as this was hitting its stride, it stopped! Work on your endings, but this has promise. Keep writing. God bless. xx
Ozetta Barge-Davis
09/16/06
I thought the writing was mystically "haunting" yet touching to the degree that it left a since of comfort and reassuring calm.
Donna Powers
09/17/06
A lovely story and I enjoyed it very much. I think you captured this girl's mood very well, and also the comfort that Grace was able to give her. Nicely done!
Donna Powers
09/17/06
A lovely story and I enjoyed it very much. I think you captured this girl's mood very well, and also the comfort that Grace was able to give her. Nicely done!
Leigh MacKelvey
09/17/06
I enjoyed the sound of "prickles in the thistles"
and liked that the 2 women each represented their names, Hope & Grace. You also left the reader thinking!