Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: EERIE (07/28/16)
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TITLE: True Identity | Previous Challenge Entry
By Demetria Mitchell
08/01/16 -
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Bear with me, and I will tell you how it happened. You will journey with me to hear of my newfound love.
I wasn’t expecting nor looking for love, it just happened. He said all the right things; he did everything right; he opened me up and loved me in ways unimaginable. He promised matrimony and to love me for a lifetime. He vowed to never hurt me. Sigh!!!
It was his mouth---the curve of his lips along with his beautiful, full set of pearly white teeth that made my world pause. His mouth carried the weight of life and death for our future (Proverbs 18:21). I held on to the broken promises and stolen dreams that spilled from his mouth. With every smile, kiss, belief, hug----they became shattered tears of my heart.
I vowed to never love another; but he broke the mold to my heart. The phantom honeymoon stage was quickly halted when he struck me with the hands I’d grown accustomed to holding me and his mouth spewed words about me as if I was nothing in his sight.
Anger engulfed my entire being and I made the decision to end him before he ended me.
Oh yes! You think I’m crazy and just to let it go! He won’t leave without a fight, not so easy! So I plan and wait for the perfect time and place.
Daily I endure and hide the deceit, lies, bruises, and drug abuse. Weekly, I plaster on a fakeness of myself so no one will catch on to this fake persona of myself as opposed to my true identity.
Every night, I watch him as he sleeps and I pray for the strength to go on; but there’s an overwhelming love for him in spite of it all. I continue with my plans; this must be done in order to break free of the chains he’s subdued upon me.
For months, I played my role. Hate times ten infused me where love once resided.
One night as he slept, in a fit of anxiety he screamed my name and told me of a dream of us in a bad storm and I drifted from his reach. Laughing crazily all the while because little did he know that in fact, we would drift apart; but it would be in death.
You still say I’m crazy, but in actuality I’m just tired of being sick and tired of my love being tainted and my true identity being diminished.
The night has come and while my heart is pounding hard through my chest---it has to be this way. I have my gun (with a silencer) and as I’m loading it, I hear these Words:
“Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen?” Genesis 4:6
Now isn’t the time to hear voices and answer questions---this has to be done in order to get back to me.
I’ve prayed and pleaded, nothing has changed. My true identity has been nullified and the time is nigh.
The Voice continues, “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” Genesis 4:7
I have a choice to make because now my true identity isn’t just from the DNA of my parents; but in Christ.
I wrestle with completing this mission to avenge for his future prospects or allowing the Lord to draw me back to Him.
As he slumbers, I gaze upon his mouth and reminisce of our beginnings. My heart aches; but my true identity is at stake and I must go on my own path.
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