The Official Writing Challenge
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As Christian writers, most of us struggle between the boundary of writing non-Christian work. While some view this as an impossible task, I feel that you can achieve this goal. You bring God in with subtle phrases and morals, through non-leading characters, etc.

The greatest thing is the start here. You showed your character finding the world shallow and empty. Anyone who reads this and has ever done the bar scene will relate to that.

I think the piece was well-written.

Good job, keep writing.
I agree with the above comments: the shallowness of modern life is conveyed well, the characters sense of restlessness and emptiness conveyed nicely. God bless.