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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Escape (01/02/06)
Julie had a restless feeling in her bones. She went to the fridge and opened door. She stared hard at the contents. Bread and Cheese Whiz stared back. She closed the door. She wasn’t really hungry anyways. She plunked down on the couch and picked up the fashion magazine her roommate had left there. After paging through it idly she tossed it aside. All those women were younger than her, they made her feel like she had lost something. With a sigh she went to her bedroom and picked up the phone. She needed to do something, now. Flopping on the bed she waited for Liz to pick up.

“Hey, it’s me, Julie.” she said when Liz came on the line.
“Hey, how are you?” her friend asked
“I need to get out tonight. My skin’s crawling, you know? Let’s go some place loud and busy.”
“Hmmm,” Liz paused. “How about Frantic? I heard it’s got cheap shots.”
“Sounds good, I’ll be at your place at 9:30.”

With a plan of action in place, Julie jumped into the shower, reenergized with her new purpose. Rummaging through her wardrobe she found her low rise jeans and yellow sequined tank top. As she went to do her make up she took a long look at herself in the mirror. Were those crows feet etching around her eyes? She contorted her face a few times trying to ease out the various lines that marked her face. She gave her cheeks a vigorous rub and sighed. “You can only work with what you have,” she thought as she reached for the mascara.

Getting to the club later Julie and Liz surveyed the line up. “How long do you think it’s going to take?” Liz asked. Julie shrugged and lit a cigarette. “I don’t mind waiting a while,” she puffed as she scanned the queue. Suddenly she spotted Jay from Accounting. He was always chatting her up in the lunchroom. She grabbed Liz and made a beeline for his position. Giving Jay her best “Hey-how you doin’-happy to see you-isn’t this going to be amazing!” wave and smile Julie introduced Liz and Jay invited them to join him in the line. Julie was feeling pumped. Now they’d get inside within the next five minutes. She could hear the music pounding through the open door. She began doing little moves and shimmies. Jay and Liz smiled and laughed at her antics. She lit another cigarette and inhaled deeply. It was going to be a good night, she could feel it.

Julie was awakened by the thumping of the garbage truck outside her window. She squinted her gritty eyes at the daylight sneaking through her blinds. She leaned over to see her alarm clock. The alarming red numbers read 8:22. She closed her eyes and reviewed in her mind the previous evening’s revelry. She checked off the list of events: met Jay, had shots, danced a lot, had beer, met some Latin guy, had more shots, ran out of cigarettes, found Liz, went home. More sleep was out of the question as the results of her list caught up with her. “Aspirin, water,” she mumbled to herself as she slowly made her way to the bathroom. Opening the medicine cabinet she found the bottle of aspirin and took two with lots of water. She decided to brush her teeth too, her mouth felt disgusting. As she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror she saw her raccoon eyes. “Removal is definitely overdue,” she thought. Rubbing off the mascara she saw the crow’s feet again. She put down the cotton swab. She poked at the bags under her eyes. She gave herself a long hard look. “You need a vacation.” she said to herself. “Fewer bars, more spas.”

Wandering back into her bedroom she laid down carefully on the bed and picked up the phone.
“Hey Megan, it’s Julie, want to get a facial tomorrow?”
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This article has been read 1017 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Andria Cook
01/15/06
As Christian writers, most of us struggle between the boundary of writing non-Christian work. While some view this as an impossible task, I feel that you can achieve this goal. You bring God in with subtle phrases and morals, through non-leading characters, etc.

The greatest thing is the start here. You showed your character finding the world shallow and empty. Anyone who reads this and has ever done the bar scene will relate to that.

I think the piece was well-written.

Good job, keep writing.
Alexandra Wilkin
01/15/06
I agree with the above comments: the shallowness of modern life is conveyed well, the characters sense of restlessness and emptiness conveyed nicely. God bless.