Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: First World Problem (04/17/14)
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TITLE: Those Big Blues | Previous Challenge Entry
By Donna Tijou
04/22/14 -
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Was this a dream? This beautiful woman moved here to assist her broken hearted, broken tushed, mom? Was she putting him on? Oh, who cares, he wanted to know more, so he pushed on. “Do you live near here?” “Just down the street. I’m staying with mom for the time being, but as soon as she gets better, I’ll look for a job. Then I’ll get a place of my own. Do you know of any apartments around this area that will rent to someone with four pets, actually five. I have a parakeet too.” This was some woman!
Steve pondered the situation. Only in the good old U.S. of A could this happen. In third world countries people worried about clean water, enough food, and extreme poverty. He had just met an animal loving woman, with a disabled mom, in this first world country. She also wasn’t working and didn’t seem bothered by it. Her retired step-dad had run off with their widowed neighbor? And her mom had taken after him with a baseball bat? Was this a violent family? Why was he so attracted to this woman? In some countries, people had carefully arranged marriages and here he was chasing a woman he had just met, and a strange one at that. Only in America!
The next day she was back, with poofy on a leash. “How’s your mom?” He didn’t think it polite to inquire about her mother’s injured tush. “Okay”, she said. “My step-dad called last night and begged her to take him back. Seems the widow wasn’t such a prize after all. Mom told him to get lost, then she broke down and sobbed”. “Is she taking him back?” “Yes”, replied Jamie. “so I’ll be looking for a job and an apartment. Any ideas?” “Actually”, said Steve, “I own a duplex. The downstairs tenants are moving out next week. I was planning on releasing the apartment. Are you interested?” He must be crazy. She had no job, five pets, her mother was dangerous and her step-dad a gigolo. But those big blues kept flashing, so he said, “Will you marry me?” He could rent to someone else. She looked at him in surprise, but answered, “Yes!”
A first world problem, jumping into things like this, but he didn’t care. It was love at first sight. “Maybe we could honeymoon in Cuba.”
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Keep up the great work!
Each time a character speaks should be in a new paragraph so divide the conversations with more paragraphs.
A beginning like this could go anywhere from a short story to a full blown novel - maybe a mystery. Just add more descriptive words and action words to show emotions.
You have something to build on.