Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Anger (01/24/05)
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TITLE: Life after anger | Previous Challenge Entry
By Deborah Shipman
01/31/05 -
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Life had become a ritual forced on her by this unseen deity that Howard served. Jesus was what Howard always called this unseen force, a cruel and sadistic monster that seemingly took pleasure in seeing her abused. She had thought once she left him everything would go away yet nothing she did seemed to ease the pain. Anger had become her constant companion yet try as she might; soothing this beast brought no relief from the memories that would flood her mind reminding her of Howard’s words….
“I have to do this for Jesus told me you needed to be punished.”
They haunted her, always nipping at her heels, reminding her of who she really was. Sometimes there were moments, like right now, when she wished she could forget. The thought of being free from this torment, not hearing his words remind her how worthless she was, brought a momentary peace that she quickly pushed away.
Pain began to cut through her head like a razor sharp knife, leaving her weak and tired. The headaches were coming more frequent than ever before sometimes lasting for weeks. Nothing worked to stop the pounding in her head as searing pain forced its way through her brain. Pulling her legs up to her chest she held her head and rolled over on her side, laying there sobbing from deep within. When would this ever end?
She heard a knock at her front door. As she slowly raised herself up and climbed out of the bed holding her head, she wondered who it could be. Why would anyone be coming to see her? Opening the door, she was surprised at seeing Francine the neighbor down the street standing there.
Francine seeing the pain and surprise on Lisa’s face said, “Hey Lisa, I just thought I would stop by and see how you were doing. Are you okay?”
Through the throbbing in her head, Lisa stared at Francine wondering what her game was. Why was she always so nice? What was it with her? The pain continued to grow worse as she stood there speechless staring at this woman in front of her.
“Lisa what is wrong? You look pale. Please let me come in and pray with you, if you wouldn’t mind.”
She broke standing right there in her front door, weeping like a baby. Francine reached out and wrapped her arms around Lisa, holding her tight as she cried, releasing many years of anger and pain. Slowly Francine led her into the house never letting go as she steered them over to the couch in her living room. As they sat there, Lisa finally rose up and looked at Francine.
“I am so sorry,” said Lisa as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “I do not know what came over me.”
Francine looked at her and said, “I know what it was. I have been praying for you ever since you moved into this neighborhood and Jesus was answering my prayers.”
Walls flew up as soon as Francine said Jesus. No way was she going to allow this Jesus to do anything for her. She had already experienced his help many times and that was over. Never again was he going to hurt her. Francine felt the walls as soon as they went up.
“What is it Lisa, what did I say that you didn’t like?”
“You said the name Jesus. I hate him. He only wants to hurt me and make me pay.”
As Francine listened, Lisa began to pour out her heart to her, finally letting go. They cried together that day as Lisa finally found freedom from the anger that had tormented her for so many years.
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Yeshua Bless
But a great job; awewome description.
God bless,