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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Bon Voyage (09/05/05)
Belinda stood watching the plane carrying her husband, taxi down the runway. She put one hand up onto the window pane and rubbed the other hand over her growing abdomen. “Please dear God keep him safe” she said. Belinda’s husband was setting out on a mountaineering expedition to the Himalayas. He had been training for years for this journey. Belinda knew when they married a year ago that Will loved the outdoors and in particular the thrill and challenge that climbing gave him.

As she watched the aeroplane gather speed and lift off into the air her thoughts turned back to the memories leading up to this moment. Will had been so excited after one of his close friends had rung to invite him on this expedition. “Belinda, this is a once in a life time opportunity! Rob and I have been climbing together for the last few years and now finally this expedition is being organised. It’s the next level in our climbing!” Will and Belinda had talked at great length before deciding Will would accept the offer to join the team heading to the Himalayas. After finding out Belinda was pregnant Will offered to quit from the team, but Belinda knew how much Will wanted to do it, and that if all went according to plan he would be back in plenty of time for the birth of their baby.

She thought of the reaction of her parents-in-law when Will told them what he was planning. His father had said “Will, it is totally irresponsible of you! You now have a major role in running the family business and a child on the way! What are you thinking? You can’t leave your wife like this! Belinda, try and talk some sense into him, you can’t let him go and leave you all alone!” But Belinda and Will had remained firm in their decision.

After arguing with Will’s parents and discussing what would be happening while Will was away, doubts began to assuage Belinda. What if her parents-in-law were right? Was it crazy to let Will go on this mountaineering expedition? What if Will died? Belinda was out in the garden as she struggled with these doubts. She knew only one answer to handling these fears - to pray. As she told God all her concerns her mind began to clear. Belinda knew that Will needed to make this trip. He had been climbing for years, possibly for this opportunity. She saw the exhilaration, the physical and mental challenge and fulfilment that climbing gave Will. She sensed his restlessness and the desire he had for mountaineering. Belinda knew that if she tried to prevent Will going he would not loose his longing to climb and he would have regrets or worse resent her.

As Belinda prayed “I give Will’s Himalayan trip over to you Lord, and put his life into your hands”, she had a vision of holding a butterfly trapped in her hands and then letting it fly free. Belinda felt a deep sense of peace settle over her and knew that like the butterfly she had to let Will go free on his journey, before he would come back to her and their baby.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
B Brenton
09/13/05
Awww... it's sweet. Belinda did the right thing. I like this. Easy to read, nice and light, tugs a little at the heartstrings but not too firmly to force tears.
It's perfect for the word limit. Just perfect.
Jan Ackerson
09/13/05
I'm so glad you didn't have Will die at the end! Check the meaning of "assuage", I think it's just the opposite of what you said. A sweet love story. Maybe you'll write about Will's adventure next?
Karen Ward
09/14/05
A wonderful first challenge piece! Well done! God Bless, Karen
sandra snider
09/14/05
Not too bad. My suggestion is this: instead of starting out with a pregnant woman being left by her husband (which is sort of overdone and corny, if you know what I mean, because it seems as if lots of challenge articles begin this way)I would shake things up a little and perhaps begin with the woman in the garden, releasing the butterfly, and then go on to fill in the details. just a little suggestion. As a writer, you want to avoid being too predictable. Otherwise, very well done and you should be ready with a little more work to move to the next level!