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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Light and Dark (05/21/09)
James 1:22-25


Born in darkness, blind to my condition
My flesh is formed to the likeness of sin.
But how could I know this awful state,
With nothing to compare my awful fate.

I’ve spent years in this blindness
Stumbling like a child in darkness.
Still unaware that Your light could shine
And bring clarity to this life of mine.

There I see it, a flicker, a flame to light my way.
Your Word, Your Truth brings life to my decay.
Like a mirror, Your Word reveals my true visage
I stand, eyes fixed upon that fractured image.

Taking in this illumination, I come to understand
Your Word is more than light, it is an outstretched hand.
To pluck me from impending death, to draw me closer still
To change my malformations, to guide me in Your will.

I can take hold of what He offers me, and die to this old life
Or choose to walk away, forgetting the truth I saw in His light.
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This article has been read 802 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Stacy Wells 
05/28/09
"Your Word is more than light, it is an outstretched hand.
To pluck me from impending death, to draw me closer still"

I love this. Very good depiction of the light changing/saving us from darkness
Jan Ackerson
06/01/09
I like the several 'light' images in your poem.

A tweak of the meter would help this to flow more smoothly.

This reads like a modern-day psalm--nice!
Bryan Ridenour
06/03/09
As was previously mentioned, it reminds me of a modern Psalm. Well written. Nicely done!
Sara Harricharan
06/03/09
Nicely done. I liked the third verse the best! Thanks for sharing this-and I like how your title fits.
Lollie Hofer 
06/03/09
Enjoyed reading your poem of hope. I especially liked the "flicker" line. Thank you for sharing.
Colin Swann
06/03/09
This inspired rhyme seems pregnant with truth. Thanks for sharing your gift. Colin
Brenda Kern 
06/03/09
This addresses the topic very well, and has a wonderful message of hope. I particularly like this line: Your Word is more than light, it is an outstretched hand.

Notice this: as the poem continues, the stanzas reach farther and farther to the right. This (generally) means that your meter is changing through the poem. Try to keep the meter constant (same number of syllables in the same line per stanza) through a poem, and using the visual cue of the way it lays on a page can help you do this.

This poem is AB, CD (first and second lines rhyme, third and fourth lines rhyme). Try AC, BD, or even BD only for a rhyming scheme--it will probably make the poetry come more easily to you and be easier for the reader to read.
Catrina Bradley
06/04/09
This gets better with each stanza. I think my favorite line is "Your Word is more than light, it is an outstretched hand." Nice job!