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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Bridge (07/31/08)
In the beginning of our family history we would load up in the old station wagon and head south on Highway 231 one Sunday a month go visit our Grandmother. Just outside the city limits we would cross the Whitesburg Bridge. This was a large “span” type of bridge with the iron construction. It was like driving through a web of iron and concrete to get across the Tennessee River to the other side. Those who had seniority in the family (the older siblings) got to sit in the “very back” and ride backwards. Their view of the bridge was backwards and a more unique experience than those of use who were not older and had to fight for a window seat in the other back or get stuck riding on the hump. Fortunately, I had seniority over the sisters and got my choice of windows.

Coming home that bridge signified “home” as we knew we were once again approaching familiar territory. I can remember the night trips back home and how I would look up at the beams and lights and revel at the mysterious beauty they represented. That bridge symbolized the promise that home was always there.

As our lives progressed, our parents’ lives progressed. However, they progressed in opposite directions. Our Sunday visits became a routine that included only Mother and there was always some excuse for Daddy’s absence. Finally, after many, many stressful years, their marriage failed under pressures incomprehensible by sons and daughters. There was no bridge by which they could return. There was no bridge by which we could find the home we once knew. The bridge was forever demolished and replaced by a gap filled with bitterness, anger and misunderstanding.

Fast forward thirty years. As our parents had done, each child in our family set out on their separate path of life’s experiences. Each one of us was forever impacted by the desertion of our father. Each one of us has a different version of the story, our memories scattered over different times, ages and relationships with our Daddy. My relationship with him became sterile and angry. His relationship with me was strained as well by my reaction to his decisions of infidelity and my assumption that he failed to consult with me regarding those decisions. I had once contacted him simply to say “I love you” to his “what do you want” answer on the phone. It was the last conversation I had with him as he died in 1985.

Since Daddy’s death, I have fought the bitterness and blame I place upon him. Most of my memories of him are of him treating me with love and respect. Oh the many trips to dog shows, the trips to the mall, the times he threw his head back and guffawed at some tale I spun regarding my day or at seeing me accomplish something I was quite sure was impossible.

Six years ago I crossed the most important bridge I believe I will ever traverse. I crossed the bridge of forgiveness. I realized that I am no greater than my father and my father was a parent just like I have become. I realized that a father is a human being, equally frail and subject to temptation and daily challenge. Most of all I realized that as my father, he loved me and as his daughter I loved and still love him. Most of all I realized that God my supreme father loves me despite all my faults as an example of how I should love others – most especially my parent. That bridge of forgiveness seemed to go on forever – nearly 30 years. I must have gotten halfway a thousand times only to turn back and cling to the anger a while longer. Now that I’ve made it to the other side, I wonder how long he has been waiting for me over there. I am still his little girl with pig-tales and adoration. He’s still my Daddy. Only from now on, he’s the father I choose to love instead of the father I chose to begrudge. I highly recommend the bridge of forgiveness in life’s travels. Once you reach the other side, it’s the most wonderful trip you will ever take.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Dan Blankenship
08/09/08
I live 9 miles from state road 231, but in Crown Point, Indiana.

:-)

"Six years ago I crossed the most important bridge I believe I will ever traverse. I crossed the bridge of forgiveness. I realized that I am no greater than my father and my father was a parent just like I have become. I realized that a father is a human being, equally frail and subject to temptation and daily challenge."

WOW! Excellent words!

Not much more I can say.

May God bless!

Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship