The Official Writing Challenge
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03/09/08
Father knows best could have been another title. Good story.
03/10/08
Wow, seems like you've got a whole novel here! Romance fans will love this one.

Watch your use of commas--there were some places that really needed one. And you may have tried to cover too much in just 750 words, so there wasn't much room for character development.

I could visualize every scene--this was fun.
03/10/08
I loved this story, too! You caught me at the end, though, you switched to the present. It was rather abrupt, but I know that crazy 750 word rule gets us every time! Keep on writing, my friend!
Laury
Fun story! It's hard to fit a whole story in 750 words, isn't it!? Keep writing, you've done a nice job here.