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Topic: Sad (07/26/07)
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TITLE: Unspeakable Joy | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ramona Pugliese
07/30/07 -
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I stared out the window looking at nothing but darkness. How I dreaded when the sun went down. I so wished to see the sun shining and hear the birds chirping again. I would try so hard to keep my mind filled with God’s Word and stay in prayer, but this black cloud kept hovering over me.
One minute I would tell myself it was okay and the next minute this sadness would take over and I would be crying like a baby. Fear would take a hold of me and I would hear these words in my mind again. There is no heaven! There is no resurrection of the body! Do you really think there are streets of gold, and your Father has many mansions waiting for you. You will not rise from the grave or have a new body.
As so many nights before I would find myself opening the closet door and just hug his shirts. I would rap his shirtsleeves around my neck and wish so hard he were there. I would cry out to God and say. Oh My God, dear precious Father in heaven will I really see him again? All I had to hold on to was his memories. He was a very handsome young man. He had big blue eyes with a very strong masculine face. His laughter and his smile would melt any ones heart. He was a real comedian, and would make you laugh till you nearly cried. He loved the Lord and would repent when he done wrong. One letter he wrote me just months before said. Ma I am not sure what is going to happen to me but I will be doing the Lords work.
It was Friday afternoon and Linda our friend at Hair Heaven just cut his hair. As we were leaving the parking lot he reached over the seat and kissed my left cheek. With a smile on his face and the look of love in his heart I smiled back at him. Little did I know that would be our last precious moments together. He walked out the door that evening and I never seen him alive again. My son Jeffrey went home to be with the Lord on March 28, 2004 at 25 years of age.
Months of grieving I was not aware that the devil was whispering lies in my ear. The parable of the sower Jesus taught in Matthew 13:3 never entered my mind. It was exactly 11 months ago my son had passed. It was the night the Lord turned my sorrow into joy unspeakable.
I had fallen asleep and when I awoke I looked to see that it was 3:21 A.M. Within a spilt second I came to realize that this dream was no ordinary dream. It was real and I knew it. There was my son right before my eyes! He was sitting in a chair and had this look on his face that I knew so well. It was a look that he was sorry I hurt so badly. All I could do was say no Jeff. Its okay it’s not your fault. I am okay please don’t look so sad. I then took each of his hands and held them in mine. I could feel the warmth of his skin.
I then touched his face and caressed his cheeks. As I was touching his cheeks I could hear him say in my head with no words coming out of his mouth that he could not speak to me now.
I had this unspeakable joy within me and was so amazed that the Lord let me see my son and touch him one more time. I reached for my bible and said Lord please let your word speak to me. I opened to Ezekiel 37 “The Valley of Dry Bones” The hand of the Lord was upon me. Instantly the Lords Word came back to my remembrance. As I continued to read on Verse 5 says, I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin,
After reading God’s Word I took the pages out of the Bible and put them in a plastic sleeve. I said devil I will carry these with me and whenever doubt enters my mind I will call you a liar. Because THUS SAITH THE LORD.
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