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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the ROMANCE genre (04/19/07)
Otherwise, the End would strike

The affair could not be stopped because it had gone intense and really deep: it had a bond thicker than that of a soldier’s love for his dear country; it had become more viscous than blood yet as cohesive as water; it had transcended the boundaries of ethics and morals and occupied the plains of eternal rust; it had ascended to the hilly places of deceit and blindness to truth and facts and with just a step further, would fall into the bottomless pit of darkness where many derailed have met the consequences of their careless acts. The affair had exhausted the span of ‘love’ and moved closer to the roaring lion seeking whom to devour.

A close meticulous look at this affair can make one sober: it can heat up the remains of useful energy; drain the archives of prompt sensitivity and leave behind just an ounce of water that is not enough to quench the thirst of a traveling donkey; it can wet hunger with vapor of unholy passion; awaken pant for youthful exuberance that the Teacher warned against; it can drench a coat of many colours with muddy-pouring rains from the stained sky above.

What can be done? What is the way out of the bottomless pit? Would it be the ladder of Jacob-Israel or the draining wedge of the Samaritan harlot Jesus spoke to about the living water that leaves no thirst? What is the place of abode from this dew of iniquity around? These showers of uncleanness that perverts my environ and drove me to seek pleasure. Alas! This pleasure eventually became an unprecedented affair uneasy to run from.

Friends, I never wanted it but I could not avoid it. I never desired it but I could not flee easily. My reasoning with sin placed me in the appearance of evil, where the tempter counseled as a leader full of wisdom with ideas that altered my deep resolve.

A step at a time with this beautiful sweet sister at dangerous corners at night after intense hours of study created first an avenue for relaxation. Later, it graduated to ministration to the spirit in Bible talks and prayers and in no time, we needed privacy….for ministration to soul and body. Yes, to the body.

The outcome was need for deeper intimacy spiced up with gifts and nice flattery words of ‘love feeling’. Then, the affair grew until just one stone was not turned because it stood as the heaviest; turning it is totally against Biblical love.

Right there and then, we knew we had come to all-important juncture: one quite far and deep, one without check for morals with only intermittent feelings of condemnation and guilt. We knew we had arrived at the end, otherwise the End would strike and that may initiate the journey into perpetual decay.

This is the story of two Christian students who had feelings for each other and soon romance sparked up. This paved way for unholy acts until the point to decide for just a step further –sex. The affair had to be broken, otherwise the end would strike with a disatrous blow.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Dan Louise Mann
04/28/07
Wow! This is a very complex entry. It is a little hard to wade through all the thoughts, but it is a very deep look at how a casual relationship spins down into a sinful relationship. You really pulled me down with you.

My favorite line was:
My reasoning with sin placed me in the appearance of evil, where the tempter counseled as a leader full of wisdom with ideas that altered my deep resolve.

However, when I reached the end, I was a disappointed to find that your characters were two students (who I'm assuming are unmarried).

My definition (and I may alone in this thought) is something cannot be categorized as an "affair" unless there is infidelity involved, i.e. one or both of the parties are married. So your descriptions would have been more satisfying to me if that had been the case.

In my opinion, since your male/female characters are two unmarried students, there does not seem to be anything wrong with the interactions between them and the growing relationship that you describe. Certainly there may be some hidden sins in the form of lust, etc., but on the whole, once I knew they were unmarried, it just seems like a normal relationship that is developing into love.

If you had made your characters married, then your description of the development of and spiraling down of an "affair" is admirably done.

So I would polish up what you have written and change the ending to be married characters, and you have a very good piece.

Kudos to you!
Donna Powers
04/29/07
This is a very intense story and at times it was difficult to understand. I applaud the deepness of your feelings and I see your sincere desire to follow God. Keep writing!
Brenda Buikema
04/29/07
I liked the concept of this story. I think the flow would have been better with more complete sentences and less commas (something I too am working on). Overall this was a very nice story.
Martha Helton
04/29/07
Some deep thoughts, but the overuse of semicolons distract from the content. I was surprised as well to find these 2 were unmarried students. This would have more appropriately described 2 married individuals. Good depth of content, though!