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Topic: Anniversary (04/11/05)
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TITLE: MY ANNIVERSARY OF FREEDOM | Previous Challenge Entry
By Amy Prince
04/14/05 -
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We carefully tiptoed through the grass as sprinkles of the morning dew wet our feet. Though worlds apart and virtual strangers, we had similar bonds that brought us to this solemn place.
The overcast clouds threatened a shower, however, that was not enough to deter God’s mission for freedom.
Not knowing what to expect, this all occurred very suddenly for me as if someone knew with contemplation, I certainly would not have been standing in that place. I was engulfed by fear with each step, yet I trudged on with a small trust God would not let me be overtaken. Although, I would be a liar if I proclaimed that I did not wonder if I was standing on the edge of certain doom.
My new friend, Jennifer, of only thirteen short weeks, stood beside me when we got to the special place and I was overwhelmed with emotion. The tears helplessly flowed like a flood from my eyes; I could hardly even see the inscription on the slab right in front of me.
It was a memorial, a dedication to the unborn babies that have been aborted. God had brought me to this place ever so gingerly because He knew it was necessary.
As I stood there I struggled with whether to run or finally surrender my two babies that I aborted. Although it happened when I was so young, and God had brought me so far, I knew I had further to go. I had long been forgiven, but as I reasoned with God, I knew I had not completely let go.
In those first moments of reaching our destination, I wrestled deep in my heart. The war of surrender raged on and the tears still flowed.
Some of the friends that stood beside me were in the same place that I was, the letting go stage, while Jennifer and a few others already experienced the true freedom in Christ.
Finally after a few prayers, I sang a song because that is all I had to give. As I was singing with all of my heart the clouds broke open and a cleansing rain poured down on us, it was cold and steady yet I welcomed it. God gave me strength I did not know was possible.
When it was time, the rain softly ceased as if God was saying, “I am glad that you stayed, now is the time.” Clutching one pink balloon in my left hand and one light blue balloon in right, I walked off to my own solitary place to let them go.
Looking into the sky, the clouds separated and the soft background of blue sky welcomed the balloons that were lofting up into the breeze of the heavens. However, I could not let go of mine. After a time that seemed like an eternity, I felt the muscles in my right hand release and the ribbon tenderly unraveled from my unwilling hand.
Quickly to no avail, I tried grasping for it, but it was out of my hands. Higher and higher it climbed into the distance.
One last tear fell from my face, and a peace flooded my soul because it was then I knew it was okay. I let the pink balloon go to follow the other one. Off they went, beyond the distant green and blue of the scenery until they were out of site.
The balloons were gone and a load had been lifted from deep inside of me. A slight smile might have been seen on my face because I realized God held it in His hands all along.
July of 1999 is the anniversary of my freedom that I will never forget. I praise God continually for loving me that much to not give up on me.
Walking back to the car that July morning through the sun-dried grass, songs of praise could be heard through the hills beyond the rows of graves.
“ I will go before you and will level the mountains
I will break down the gates of bronze and cut the bars of iron
I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places
So that you may know that I am Lord, the God of Israel, who summons
you by name.” Isaiah 45:2-3 (NIV)
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