The Official Writing Challenge
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I liked this poem. It is original and the message is clear. The only thing I would suggest is to read it for the rhythm again and see if there are places where it doesn't read as smoothly as others. I got cuaght up in several places where the words didn't seem to flow with the overall rhythm.Possibley cnage some words to fit the rhytm. other than that, Bravo!
A splendid job you did with this poem. Perhaps you should not even be in the Beginners group. The delivery and ideas you expressed were truly excellent. However, I agree with what the previous writer said about the rhythm flow in one or two places.
Ohhhh, I like this!!! I reeeeeally like this!! Just a teeeensy bit of rythm tightening but nothing major. And I'd add some spaces but hey, that won't change how good it is!!! Did I mention that I liked this!!!
Ditto, Ditto, and Ditto. I absolutely love this line:
Death came to take a life that day
But life it did impart.
I loved this when I first read it when judging and was thrilled to see that you'd placed. Congrats and great writing. Jules
This was absolutely beautiful. You used it to convey emotion and a person that is usually the most desperate is the one evangelizing to others. Wonderful!