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TITLE: My Adoption-part 1 of chapter 1 By ron kyker 12/13/14 |
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It was my adoption that started the whole problem. Yes! I said, problem. Don’t get me wrong; my adoption was a great blessing straight from God. I have seen it that way all of my life. What a great word; adoption. I will tell you more about that word later. You will see as you read my book that a great blessing can also be a curse. My journey doesn’t start here, but it most certainly has its roots here. Being adopted gave me a new life with a family who loved me and did it with the Love of God. How it became my curse will become more evident when the journey really starts.
This is the story of my adoption and why I needed to be adopted. Let’s just say that I had a bit of a rough start in life. My parents were alcoholics; at least that is what I am told. According to mythology and the early tablet writings of the Greeks during their…come on; you’re not quite that important! No; actually The Department of Human Services of Oklahoma (we will get to know them very well in this book) told my parents that my biological parents; those parents who thought it was a good idea to bring me into this world but not to take care of me, were alcoholics and that myself along with my five brothers and sisters were taken away from them three times during the first year of my life.
My adoptive parents were told I was extremely malnourished, failure to thrive, and required surgery to repair what they called a disability with one of my legs or a foot. They said I was born crippled. We are not sure what that problem was. They were only told “he walks fine now”. I never went to court to open my medical records, so I have never known what that disability was. I remain a mystery to everyone; especially DHS (Department of Human Services).
I am told I spent most of the first year of my life in an orphanage in or near my home town. All orphanages were closed and turned into state schools to house unwanted, deprived, neglected, or abused children the following year. I was then placed into foster care. I had good foster parents. My foster dad was a Southern Baptist preacher. I don’t have a wealth of memories of this period, but I do have a few. I know that I remember an older foster brother who was very nice to me; especially when I wet the bed. He would let me crawl in bed with him because he knew I would be in trouble the next day. When I wet the bed, I was grounded to my bed for the day.
Times were different then. But I do have very fond memories of my foster brother. He went on to be the Director of The Baptist Children’s Home Division in the Oklahoma Southern Baptist Foundation. I don’t know what he is doing now. I never tried to contact them or my biological parents. I have no idea where my siblings are now either. I am told all of us were adopted out separately. That was a time as well when foster parents could not adopt their foster kids. That is not the case now. It was also a time when splitting up siblings was acceptable. Some things never change, though many at DHS would claim differently.
I really don’t have too many meaningful memories of that time. A well meaning Pastor of mine and my well meaning mother cooked up an idea once at a Baptist Church camp to surprise me with meeting my foster father while I was there at camp one summer. My former foster dad was then head of security at the camp and I was told when they introduced me to him that he had been watching me all week and was impressed. I don’t know how I should have reacted and sometimes I wish that I had reacted differently. I might have gotten to know them better and as I look back on things now, that might have been pretty cool thing.
This is how I reacted. I flipped out! I was very angry that no one had even thought to ask me if this is what I wanted and the thought that this man, who I did not know, had been watching me. I went off on them big time and stormed off very upset! I was thirteen years old and of course I knew everything by then! I could not believe how stupid adults became once their teenage years were over and they became adults. What happens to people when they get to become adults; why do they get so stupid?
Thirteen year olds are so smart; they know it all. I couldn’t understand what happened. Really; I don’t know why I reacted that way to this day. Later in my book, you will find out it is just a “Disease Called Teenager”. I don’t know if I just got embarrassed, whether the surprise of it just freaked me out, or if I was actually right; they should have considered my feelings. If they had asked me, I probably would have been more okay with it and said yes. But I do understand they had no idea that I would react as I did. They surprised me and I guess I kind of surprised them. So, I guess we are even! I never saw him again and never tried. Well back to my adoption.
I felt the need to share that with you here before I got started, as that event was and has been my only connection with my adoption. I was not like most who are adopted. I never felt the desire to find my birth family or my siblings.
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