Encouragement

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Keep The Faith Desiree
(c) 2009

Stephen A. Peterson


“When I came home from school on October 5th, my mom was sitting in the chair in front of the T.V. The T.V. was on so when I first walked into the living room I didn’t think anything was wrong,” said Desiree Nelson.

“I tried to talk to mom but she did not answer. Then I realized something was not right. She looked like she was sleep but she wasn’t. I tried to wake her up but wouldn’t wake up. So I called “911” and the police came out. They looked at mom and said she was dead.”

“I’m sorry about your mom, Desiree,” I said. “That must have been extremely tough for you to see your mom dead and then watch them take her away.”

“Yeah,” she said softly. She looked down as tears formed in her eyes. “I didn’t know what to do. I just called tribal police. When they came, they asked me if I had any family in the area. I told them I did not. I don’t even know who my dad is. My mom was the only person in my life. She was really good to me and took care of me. Tribal police said they’d have to put me in a shelter. I really don’t want to go to a shelter. I hear they are really, really bad.”

“Is there no one in this area that you would want to live with?” I asked.

“No. My mom was my best friend. Whatever I needed, she got me. She was the best. She never did anything wrong. She didn’t drink. She didn’t do drugs. She never partied. She worked and worked hard every day. She went to church and prayed for me each and every day. So tell me why did God make my mother die?”

“I really don’t know, Desiree. I wish I could tell you why. I do believe your mother is in heaven and is very happy. I also believe she wants you to rejoice in her victory and happiness. Your mother has finished her race and I’ll bet she’s so happy! Now in that light I’d bet your mom would tell you to be good and to keep the faith.”

Desire shifted her weight from one side to the other and just stared as though she was in shock. She did not appear angry or bitter. She displayed nothing but goodness and tears of her loss in her eyes. She realized that she was parentless and all alone in the world at only 14 years old. Desiree still percolated a sort of unwavering gentleness about her that one rarely sees in teenagers or, for that matter, among the majority of adults. In her period of sadness and grief, Desiree was one of the best, well-behaved teens I have ever met.

The question in my mind was: “How would this child survive like this and make it for at least four more years before she went forward on her own?” I know I had to find her the best home I would find. But where is it? I would have to work with her every step of this process as well as keep her completely informed unlike any other child or teens I have ever worked with. I would also be the best salesman I have ever been in my life. There would be no mistakes. This called for prayers… lots of prayers. Although most of us in Indian Child Welfare want to do our absolute best, there are those times we hope and pray for a miracle. And that we do not mess things up for a really great child or teen. This was one of those teens in one of those moments.

At this point, I shifted the conversation from her mother’s situation to learn a little more about her as well as to try to look into her future. “How are you doing in school?” I asked.

“Okay,” she responded sadly. “I promised my mom that I would do well in school and make something of myself. I know how important school is. So I keep going. I’m a Freshman, Mr. Peterson. I’m getting “A’s” in everything. You can call my school. They’ll tell you that. I’ve not missed a single day and don’t want to miss tomorrow.”

“That’s really good, Desiree! It must be incredibly hard going to school when your mother worked so hard at her job.”

“Well, no. She had two jobs. And she often worked on Saturdays and Sundays, too.” Tears came to her eyes. “I don’t want to go to a shelter or any place like that. And I don’t wanna miss any school either.”

I stood before this very young devastated and bewildered young woman in awe. To date, no other young person had accomplished what this 14 year old had. I don’t think I could have done anywhere near what this young person had done. I don’t think I would have the courage or stamina to hold up as well as she. She was remarkable! I was totally blown away.

“Desiree, as much as I hate to, I’m going to have to take you over to the Hope House. I really just don’t have a choice. I can’t let you stay here without any adult supervision. There is just too much that could go wrong. Someone could hurt you if they knew you were alone by yourself. If something bad were to happen to you, I’d be devastated. I’ve got to do whatever I can to protect you. I’ll go talk to the school in the morning and tell them what happened. You’ll not lose any school time. Hope House has school. I’ll visit you every day. I promised. And I’m gonna look for some relatives who will want to take care of you.”

Desiree looked at me and said softly, “You do what you gotta do. You seem like my mom and she took care of me. She was the best! I just wish she could be here right now. I’m so scared!”

I stood there and stared into her now tear filled brown eyes absolutely stunned by her courage, strength, and decency in, without a doubt, the most difficult period of this young person’s life. There were hundreds of things I wanted to say at the moment, but she and I realized that time was wasting and action needed to be taken. I realized also that I needed to be completely honest with her and keep her informed of any and everything that pertained to her. But at the moment, I worked hard at attempting to comfort and re-assume that she was the most important person.

“I’m so glad we, I met and found you,” I said.

“You didn’t really find me. I called the tribal police ‘cause I was scared. I’m scared now because I don’t because I don’t know what to do,” she cried tearfully.

Desiree looked up with eyes that said to me,”Please help me! I don’t know what to do! My mother has died. I’m grieving! I’m still just a kid and need and want someone to love and care for me. Will you show me someone, anyone who would care for me like my mom did? Someone who care if I live or die, succeed or fail! Help, please!!!!”

Though I know we are never supposed to show favoritism towards one child or another, I reached out and hugged this wonderful and beautiful young woman an extra long time to reassure her that someone on earth is truly concerned for her welfare.

“I and everyone in Indian Child Welfare WILL help you in every way we can,” I told her. “Don’t worry about a thing, Desiree! Be strong! We’re going to get through this together. You’ll see. Okay?”

Desiree is 14 and she was the first person to discover her dead mother. At that point, her world changed forever. If I ever met a person young or old she had beaten the odds. With a caring family, Desiree, without question, will be a successful woman.

Desiree remained in Hope House for 35 days because we just could not find a faster home for her. Whenever we said, girl, 14 years old, people we contacted thought “teenager,” “trouble”. But I knew she was not. But for me and the Indian Child Welfare staff, Desiree was a child sent by God to us to touch our hearts about teenagers. That teens are not bad just hurt and need, and in fact, want adult guidance. As we neared the Christmas season, I thought of Desiree as a miracle, a Christmas present from God to teach everyone who made contact with this young person. You would be changed. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about?”

After 45 days, we just could not find anyone among the tribal or non-tribal foster homes that would provide a home for Desiree. We had to place Desiree in a Group Home in Muskogee. Oklahoma—Murrow Indian Children’s Home—a great place for children and young people who have no one who will care for them. For me this was a tragedy and travesty that no family would care to make a home for this outstanding teen.

I’m sure Desiree never saw herself as a Christmas present. However, she understood the situation and why we had to place her in a group home so far away. But bi-monthly visits from me as well as bi-weekly telephone calls reassured her that someone cared. During the four years she remained a teen, Desiree did remain faithful to her mother’s memory. She worked hard in school graduating from Muskogee High School with honors. She did go on to college eventually becoming a very good, caring nurse.

Before Desiree I had been concerned for the welfare of young people. Desiree intensified that concern. We do not have enough good foster homes. We do not have enough group homes like Murrow Indian Children’s Home when everything we do fail to uncover caring loving homes for the Desirees of this world. I hope you the reader will pray for more exceptional foster parents and group homes like Murrow Indian Children’s Home in Muskogee, Oklahoma. Although the focus is on Native American children in this story, all children and young people without parents need our help with our talent, time and treasure. These investments will not be in vain. In fact, they will be invaluable for the future in more ways than anyone may imagine!

May God bless you and keep you as you support parentless young people everywhere!!!

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