Encouragement

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Romans 8:31-8:39

Easter Week 2008 ended in a powerful blow to my spirit. I never expected it to take me off my feet like it did. The experience left me depressed and on the precipice of despair.

Oh, I know in my mind that this was the work of the devil. I could hear him cackling in maniacal glee. My face was covered in a mask of silent bitter tears. I wrestled with the notion of simply bailing out on God. I was angry with Him. I didn't care if the God of the Universe could wipe me out of existence with a thought. He was going to know that I have had enough. I determined to close my Bible once and for all.

He waited patiently until I composed myself while I rocked quietly in my chair. Then, He began to speak to my heart. He let me know that He understood exactly how I felt. He too received heart-piercing blows from close friends. He reminded me of Judas, who betrayed Him with the softest kiss. He reminded me that His disciples bailed on Him at Gethsemane. He continued to soothe me as the day wore on He understood.

I really felt horrible. I felt like I could never make anyone happy or no one would want me ever. I mean what was so wrong with me? I felt like a freak a dirty diaper discarded on the side of the road.

But God

reminded me of His Promise. "I will never bail on you."

" [your] clay was marred, so I began again. I will never throw you out. I will never give up on you"

"You are a GOOD work in progress."

"You are MY work of art."

"I created you. I formed you. Don't fear. I have redeemed you and called you by name. I know you! You have MY favor! You are Mine!"

"I am for you. Who can be against you?"

"Even your feet are lovely to Me!"

"You are precious in My Sight!"

"I love you with an everlasting Love!"

I am smiling now. My heart still hurts but it will heal. God loves me and He loves you.

Bloodied and bruised, I stand up. Devil, we ain't done yet, in Jesus' Name.

One Year Later...

It is almost Easter 2009. I wrote the above piece during a dark and miserable trial. It didn't let up until December '08. After I wrote that, I lost my home, lived with a friend for three months, I saw my home church burn down, spent more time at Vassar Hospital ER (Poughkeepsie, NY) than I care to talk about especially on Thanksgiving, where I was fighting for my life. My lungs had filled with blood and the 15 or so doctors assigned to me did not know what was wrong with me. There is where the rubber of my faith met the road. With blood spraying out of my mouth I declared, "Though my God slay me, I will bless His Name!"

On December 5th, I walked out of the hospital, fully restored and stronger than ever. On December 10th, I arrived to my new home in Clio, Michigan, where the Lord continues to bless me. In January 2009, I fell to a small heart attack. And still, that very day, I walked out of the hospital alive.

Baby, that's God for ya. You can't beat that with a stick. I am living testimony that God is Faithful and True!

This is why I worship Jesus Christ.

"Never, ever, never, ever, never, ever surrender!"

Johnny Rivera (c) 2009

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