Encouragement

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“Big Girls Don’t Cry,” sang the Four Seasons in 1962. Fergie recently repeated the sentiment from a woman’s perspective. Growing up, I heard that big boys don’t cry, and now real men don’t cry. The rest of the lyrics—and real life—prove those axioms untrue.

In many cultures, extreme emotional expressions are frowned upon. In 1972, Senator Ed Muskie allegedly shed tears when defending his wife against political slander. Many believe this sank his candidacy. Hillary Clinton teared up a couple times during her campaign, and some thought it was weakness, while others considered moist eyes a sign of compassion. It seems that big boys and girls do cry, and we’re not always sure what to make of it.

Crying is a natural expression of emotions, both happy and sad. Crying makes people feel better, although it usually makes us uncomfortable to see someone cry, especially someone we care about. Our first reaction might be, “Awww, don’t cry! It’s going to be alright!” Maybe that’s true, but damming up the tears can hurt worse than letting them out. Emotional crying releases endorphins and other painkillers that give us an emotional catharsis and make us feel relief. Instead of telling people to “buck up” and stop crying, we should allow the waterworks to flow. Crying washes the “yuck” away, whether it’s a bit of dust or a bout of depression. Tears (rips) in the heart produce tears (drops) in the eyes.

Many of us have been encouraged to memorize favorite verses and recite them at church functions. Someone would always joke that his or her favorite memory verse was John 11:32: “Jesus wept.” This happens to be the shortest verse in the Bible, yet is one of the richest in meaning and application. If the eternal, all-knowing, all-powerful Son of God, the perfect man, found it necessary and natural to cry, so can we.

The Bible relates three instances of Jesus releasing the endorphins: Luke 19:41, “When He approached Jerusalem, He saw the city and wept over it” (NASB); John 11:32, which took place at the tomb of his dear friend, Lazarus; and Hebrews 5:7, probably on the eve of his crucifixion.

Jesus’ tears in Luke’s account came at a most unusual time: what we call the Triumphal Entry. In fulfillment of prophecy, Jesus entered Jerusalem on a donkey, while the disciples shouted praises, waved palm branches, and spread their coats on the road. He was receiving a royal welcome, hailed as the King. You’d think he’d be thrilled! What would his followers think if they saw their powerful candidate crying? But cry he did, and publicly, too.

Despite the joyous celebration surrounding him, and the exaltation of his person, Jesus cried because he knew the city would turn on him within days, and be destroyed by the Romans 30 years later. His sorrow was too great to be held in for the sake of appearances. The Son of God felt pity for those whom he loved, even though they became his enemies.

At Lazarus’s grave, Jesus knew he was going to raise him from the dead. Yet, surrounded by the dead man’s loving, grieving, family and friends, “he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled” (John 11:33). He wept in deepest sympathy with troubled humanity, grieving for the deadly effects of sin.

Hurricanes and tornadoes are frightening natural phenomena. We consider them destructive and unpleasant. However, they are a part of God’s marvelous self-regulating world. Storms are earth’s way of normalizing temperatures and releasing energy. They are the earth’s emotional outbursts. How many of us have experienced the calm after a storm? Although we may be surrounded by wreckage, we know the worst has passed, and we can begin to deal with the future.

Tears are the body’s way of releasing pent-up emotions in a harmless way. Once the tear ducts have flooded our cheeks and the storm is past, we can face the future and begin cleaning up the wreckage.

Shortly after his father died, young Theodore Roosevelt, who loved him very dearly, wrote in his diary: “Have been thinking about Father all evening, have had a good square breakdown, and feel much better for it.” Once the dam burst, the pressure was released, and Teddy was relieved.

King David, the mightiest king of Israel, publicly confessed his weeping in many Psalms (6, 30, 69, 102, 119). Job, an innocent, righteous man, wept for the poor and troubled (Job 30:25). Jeremiah is known as “The Weeping Prophet” because of the destruction of his people. The Apostle John “wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the scroll or look inside” (Revelation 5:4). Yet, in each case and many more, the promise of God was finally realized: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5, NKJV).

If Job, King David, John, and even Jesus can cry, so can we. Once the “yuck” is washed away, we can clearly see our hope in God’s mercy.

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